As you read this, you are confused, you’re trying to figure everything out and you start to assume things. It’s not easy dealing with these mixed signals because it is time and soul-consuming too. So, your ex is trying to make you jealous because they want to achieve their goal. They would play these mind games just to boost their ego and try to win you over. Because they can’t have their feelings under their control, they want to fill that void by making you jealous! Here are 11 reasons why your ex is trying to make you jealous:
1. They want to fix their insecurities
The post-breakup period can be devastating for the dumpee and the dumper too. Your ex might be in a relationship or not and still be preoccupied with you. They do this because their insecurities are present more than ever. Usually, men with low self-esteem do this to make themselves feel better. They feel unlovable, especially after the breakup and if they have been dumped.
They might post things online that connect directly to you;They will shade you even online or in person;They will talk to your mutual friends about how their new partner is better than you;
2. They want to show how they won the breakup
They will act immaturely and want to convince you that it’s your loss and they’re doing better on their own. Your ex will try with everything that they have to convince everyone and you that they’re living the best life. They’re trying to convince themselves because they’re not happy. Trying to make you jealous of their new life, they’re just trying to justify themselves. This usually happens when a dumper regrets their decision and wants to prove the contrary. They might not want to admit their mistakes but at the same time, they will try to get you back.
3. They just want you to feel guilty
Some exes are delusional especially if you were in a relationship with a narcissist. When a narcissist is trying to make you jealous, they want to make you feel guilty all the time. Even when it’s not your fault, they will try to convince you that the end of the relationship is your fault. Their manipulative behavior is just a way to make you feel pity for them. They want compassion that doesn’t exist. They want to justify their deeds.
4. They have a hard time giving up on you
An ex that has an anxious attachment style or has strong feelings for you can’t let you go easily. In this case, your ex tries to make you jealous so they can keep in contact with you. Shortly, they just want to be in your presence no matter what. ~They either keep posting to make you jealous. ~Your ex keeps breadcrumbing you and giving you mixed signals. ~They can even join a rebound relationship and keep meeting you accidentally on purpose. To be more precise, your ex is dealing with their post-breakup emotions and feelings. While they’re processing them, you’re still their focus.
5. They want you to think about them again
They just want attention, they don’t want your heart. They are just interested in your life and not in you or getting back to you. Your ex just wants to know what’s happening to you and what they can get just to mix up your life. This doesn’t mean that they still love you or want you back. Mostly partners who tend to have low self-esteem are controlling and narcissistic. To fill their void and make themselves feel important again, they just keep sending mixed signals. 🔴You can tell that they play hot and cold. One day they are bitter and the next day they are the sweetest ones.To define and solve this matter, the extra help of a relationship coach is needed.
6. They want to reconcile but are afraid of rejection
Your ex is trying to make you look jealous because they need you back. Sometimes a low self-confidence or a bigger ego makes it hard for an ex to be straightforward. Making you jealous is their indirect way of asking you to reconcile your relationship. It is definitely not a healthy way to restart your relationship but they do it anyway. In a few words, they are playing mind games unconsciously. Also, maybe, your ex isn’t ready yet to admit to themselves what they’re feeling too. This element adds complexity to making things work again. All this situation is confusing, both for you and your ex also. You keep going back and forth and none of their actions will be explained.
7. They consider you weak
If they are the ones who initiated the breakup, they will think that you will keep going back to them. You might be clingy and have the urge to get back with your ex right after the breakup. When you get dumped, you have that urge to beg your ex to stay. You just want them to love and consider your love once again. This is quite normal because this is the first breakup stage that a dumpee goes through. The dumpee feels anxious, lonely, in denial, and crushed whereas the dumper feels powerful and free. When your ex tries to make you jealous, they want to hold that power that dumping gives to them.
8. They are bitter about the breakup and want to hurt you
Depending on your ex’s personality and attachment style, you can define how they deal with the breakup. Sometimes, they might be bitter and hold grudges forever or they concentrate on healing themselves and moving on. Usually, a narcissistic and controlling partner will want to make you “suffer” the same way they did. Even if the relationship was toxic and you ended it for that reason, they want you to feel hurt. In this case, your ex tries to downgrade you by trying to make you jealous.
They will compare you with their current partner;They will post things to show how they are doing better on their own;
It’s just these types of things that your ex initiates so they can make you feel bad.
9. They want to build a life around you no matter what
Maybe your ex wanted to build a life with you but the relationship didn’t work. Your ex tries to make you jealous just so they can stay in contact with you. This is a psychological trick that they will use so they can make themselves happy. For them is hard to accept reality and detach from you. So, your ex might and might not have feelings for you. They just are super clingy to the past and can’t accept defeat and move forward with their life.
10. They let you know that they are angry at you
If you didn’t fight for the relationship the same as they did, your ex is trying to show you what effort is. By making you jealous, they just want to show how angry they’re with your decisions. To be more specific, they want to prove what could have been done. They will be controlling also with either their new partner or with the whole situation. Your ex might think that they got the situation under control but what they’re doing is impacting you negatively. No matter what, these mixed signals and hatred will create an unpleasant/confusing situation.
11. Your ex wants to test you
Your narcissist ex might want to make you jealous just to test your feelings for them. I know that this might sound weird and not quite convincing at the first sight but they just want to try you out. Even if they don’t have strong feelings for you anymore, they do it anyway. They just want to boost their ego by having access to your life. Usually, a controlling partner won’t let you go easily and keep giving you like some little tasks. Most of the time, it’s not something done out of love but just to control your life. Only by doing this, they can feel fulfilled and in control.
Is my ex trying to make me jealous?
Most of the time, your ex tries to make you jealous and there are clear signs to prove it. I am not advising you to spend all the time reading these signs. What you can do is just give it a brief glimpse and move on with your life. Even if your ex is trying to make you jealous to get you back, try to take a step back. If they don’t give you a single reason for wanting to come back then all this behavior is a waste of time. Without further ado, these are the signs that your ex is trying to make you jealous: ~They tell you personal details regarding their new relationship. ~They try to flirt with others in front of you. ~They flaunt their new partner into your face. ~They will not delete you from their social media and post things so you can see them. ~They flex how other people find them quite attractive and interesting. ~They ask your opinion about their new partner. ~They ask for your recommendations on where to go or what to buy their new partner. ~Your ex keeps doing activities and doing things or visiting places that used to go with you. Most of the time these signs are clear but there are also hidden signs that will mix you up. Since your ex isn’t being straightforward with you then there is nothing sure that they want to get back.
What to do if my ex is trying to make me jealous?
To know what to do if your ex is trying to make you jealous, you need to define your feelings first. Ask yourself if you want to be involved with someone who plays games. If you want to do it, ask yourself why you want to be involved in such a situation. Maybe you still have feelings for your ex or their manipulative behavior is pushing you toward them. The moment that you embrace your feelings, you will start slowly to detach. Even if you want to be back with your ex, don’t react or reply immediately to their messages.
- Remember that it’s quite alright to set boundaries. It’s not wrong if you decide to take a step back and not rush. If your ex is disturbing your peace and you need more space to work on yourself, block them. You don’t need post-breakup negativity to keep you on the past constantly. To avoid it, you need to get off social media and try to not meet them.
- Focus on what you were doing until now. You’ll only ignore their actions by focusing on yours. Try to keep your life in motion. Go to work, try new hobbies and activities, and try to enhance yourself. Just by investing in yourself, you won’t seem weak and not stable. For your ex, it’s hard to have access to you when you’re confident and you have an aim.
- If you are currently in another relationship then focus on your current partner. Jumping from the present to the past can cause you a lot of problems. Maybe you might still have feelings about your ex but you need to focus on your life. Making you jealous doesn’t mean that they want to get back with you. If someone is sure about you and wants you back, they will show gradually that they have changed. They don’t have to play mind games to convince you to love them back.
- If your friends are still interacting with your ex then you should choose to distance yourself for a bit. If all of this costs you peace then it’s better to start and interact with new people. I know that’s hard to leave friends and everyone you know behind but that will help you to detach faster.
Why does my ex try to make me jealous?
Ultimately, they are trying to make you jealous to manipulate your thoughts and feelings. For whatever reason, they’re doing it, this is not a healthy way to communicate, reconnect, or get you back. Indeed, there is a chance that your ex still likes you and wants to get back with you. Yet, this is not the healthiest way to get back together. To reconcile you need consistency and trust. Playing mind games will hurt you more and you will be even more confused. Instead of giving attention to your ex, you should try to focus on your feelings. You can only get a grip on this situation by learning to control what you feel and think. Sincerely, Callisto Adams
