As you want to know more about each other, contact and consistency play a big role. The connection becomes wobbly when he suddenly just stops texting. No explanation at all, he just disappears. Where could you go from this, and what would be the ideal next step? So let’s solve this puzzle together! Here are 13 things to do if he stops texting you:
1. Put the phone down and start doing something else
Take a deep breath and take a break from your phone. Stop checking it every few minutes if you have received a text from him yet. You’re spending all of your energy and time manifesting something that is out of your control. Let things be as they are and start doing your thing. Go out with friends, have fun, do something new, and just go out there and live your best life. You shouldn’t put your life on hold just because he doesn’t text. If he wants to, he will. Therefore, instead of being depressed by the phone, put that phone down and do something that brings you joy!
2. Don’t let the “no texting” bother you
Since he has stopped texting, you may have made your humble attempts to figure out why and what happened. This sends the message that you value his presence and all of these texts that you keep sending prove that even more. It is no shame to like someone very much, but don’t let it blind you from what is currently going on. He’s making his choice, he’s not texting you. You can’t impose a decision on him, but you surely can make your own choice too! Choose to not let this situation bother you. Your world doesn’t revolve around him.
3. Wait a few days before reaching out to him
You have decided that you want to text, which is great. However, wait for approximately 3-5 days before sending him a text. You shouldn’t contact him right away demanding why he didn’t text you today. If this is happening for the first time, wait a few days to see if he texts you back. You can start the conversation with a light tone. For example, “Hey, haven’t heard from you in a few days. Is everything okay?” Be sure to not send any follow-ups. You have done your part. If he still doesn’t respond, don’t persist. Let the ball be in his court.
4. Address the issue with him
Trying to find the solution to the problem is always a good approach. Thus, addressing the reasons why he stopped texting should also be discussed. You shouldn’t sweep things under the rug. You should try to ask him directly. What you can say is: “Hi, [name]. I just wanted to check in and see if everything’s alright. You went MIA for a while now.” This is you trying to address the problem and being open to the discussion. If he has something to say, you have presented him with the chance. You should give it a try to see things from his point of view as well. If he was always the one to text you first, maybe he’s testing you if you’d text him if he stopped.
5. Move on if he doesn’t respond within a reasonable time frame
This won’t matter if you texted him or not. If he doesn’t respond within a timeframe, you should just move on. You shouldn’t wait for his texts/calls or flood him with follow-up texts. Just give up on trying to get his attention, this isn’t something you should do. There are many guys out there who would love to get to know you. Set a time frame, if he doesn’t respond within it, it’ll be time for you to respect your own boundaries!
6. He stopped talking mid-conversation: Ask him what’s up
Stopping contact after you have finished the conversation is one thing, but stopping from responding mid-conversation is another. So, if you were just talking and suddenly he stops answering, something could have happened. Don’t be quick to cut him off. Give him some space to explain. If you started talking again after his sudden disappearance, you can ask him what happened, and if everything is alright. However, it is very likely that he will apologize and tell you what happened on his own without you needing to ask him at all…
7. Don’t fall prey to breadcrumbs
You can identify behavioral patterns to see if what he’s doing is a one-time thing, or something repetitive. If he sends flirtatious texts, keeps the conversation at a minimum, appears for a second, and then all of a sudden you don’t hear from him, he’s breadcrumbing you. This is his way of deceiving you with small bits of affection, attention, and energy he’s putting into your relationship. He’s making little effort to keep you around for when he needs you. Now that you know that he comes and goes with the wind, it is up to you to decide what you want to do with this relationship.
8. Let him go: do nothing about this.
Wanting his attention is normal. Hell, you like the guy! However, letting yourself fall apart because he’s not giving you attention, shouldn’t be what’s going on in here. Avoid flooding him with texts and calls, stay away from his social media to see what he’s up to, and let him go. He made his stance, you made your attempts to ‘fix’ the broken. It’s time for you to let go now. Let go and wait, because it’s his turn to make the move. You’ve got a whole life to yourself, a whole amount of amazing things you can experience, and loving people around you. His lack of interest and his lack of respect shouldn’t shake your reality.
9. You’re high value! Acknowledge it.
You need to hold your head high and be confident about yourself. It might be your ego that has been bruised and is searching for an explanation. You might be looking for a sign that he cares, a sign that he’s still into you. And that is absolutely okay. However, avoid letting his response and his approach to you define the way you see and value yourself. He’s got preferences, sure. But so do you. His individual preferences don’t define – and never will – you, your value, or your personality.
10. Take a realistic look at his behavior: Did you put him on a pedestal?
The second you try to make excuses for his behavior, you will enter a period of delusional trust. And it will just hurt you more emotionally. In the talking stage of a relationship, when a man is interested, he will give his all to impress you. If he disappears from the beginning and his actions are repetitive, it is a sign of indifference. Putting him on a pedestal is likely to blur your vision when it comes to seeing the situation pragmatically. Think this through, his behavior isn’t healthy since he’s leaving you wondering without a warning. Is this something you’d tolerate if the filter of “My god I like him so much!” was missing?
11. Recognize him for what he’s worth
Putting him before yourself, and staying in the relationship regardless of his approach and treatment of you can sound romantic from a distance. However, things aren’t so pretty if we get a closer look at that view… Those actions sound selfless indeed. But, there comes a point where you should stop and think of your own well-being for a change too. Regardless of how you view yourself, you’ve got to think of how his presence, and, well, lack of presence is affecting your well-being. You deserve to be treated with respect and love. Anything less shouldn’t be acceptable.
12. Create a new standard from what you learned
There is always a new lesson that you get from an experience, no matter how bitter it was. And you should use that to build upon it. Being aware of what you want from a relationship will remind you of your standards, and not let you settle for less. A new standard can be “I need to know the reasons behind his actions. And if those reasons are not strong enough to outlive the emotional path I’ve been put through, then I will put myself first and end things. ” Setting new standards and keeping them in mind will help you understand that two wrongs never make a right. Don’t lower your standard for anyone, hold them tight.
13. Say “thank you, next”
You should not let one bad experience define how you see men. That being said, avoid going around social media positioning negative comments about them. The dating pool is big, and you shouldn’t hesitate to check it out. You can take as much time as you need to move on, to acknowledge the lesson(s) you’ve got from this experience, and when you’re ready, enter the dating world with your standards and boundaries unshaken!
When is the best time to text him after he stops texting?
It’s important that you give him space but also you don’t want a lot of time to pass. Thus, you can wait around a week if you want to contact him first. This is because if he’s busy, it will give him enough time to pick out some minutes to text you. But, also it will allow him enough time to contact you if that’s what he wants. Try to avoid very late-night texts. Such texts might easily spark sexting which is good, but not in this case since you’re trying to resolve an issue. And if you are looking to arrange something for the weekend, you should try to contact him Friday and Saturday. As you can arrange to meet on one of the days when both of you are off.
I want to text him! – What should I say?
First things first, it’s great that you took the initiative to break the silence between the two of you. However, since you want to text, you should come up with something good. It can’t be common and unthoughtful. Your text needs to be simple, purposeful, and straight to the point. Something that he can’t help but reply to. Here are some examples of what you can say when he stops texting: – “Hello [name]. This way of communicating is not something I’m okay with. It’s been wonderful getting to know you, but I have to let you go. I wish you joy and good things in your journey!” – “Hi, hope you’re doing well. I noticed your distance recently. If you’d like to talk about it, I’m here to listen.” – “Hi, would you mind if I pick your brain for a little bit? I’m looking to buy a new car and I’d appreciate the help.” – “What was the name of that part I needed to change so that my AC could work?” – “Finally got around to watching the new Thor movie. I couldn’t believe it when you said that the cinematography was downgraded. How could they do him dirty like that?” – “Hey, were you able to go through the book I lent you? I’m re-reading the series and would like to have it back. When can I pick it up?” – “Hi, my laptop is acting up again. I think it’s the same problem as the last time. Would you mind walking me down the steps again, please?” – “Hey, I met your sister the other day. Congrats on being an uncle. I know you couldn’t wait to meet her. Hope you’re doing well.” All in all, you are strong enough to break this cycle and stand up for yourself. If you think that something must be done, there is a high possibility that there is. So, don’t hold into self-doubt and take action. Sincerely, Callisto
