Well, that is something very normal to do after thinking that the date went well. Then comes another doubt that maybe you’re overthinking it and the guy is taking it slow. It all depends on how long it takes for him to reach out to you. A guy, the same as a woman, needs some time to process the first date. He will handle the situation differently depending on the reason he is dating, his attachment style, and how he feels about you. To prove our point here are 14 reasons why a guy doesn’t text after the first date:
1. He might be waiting for you to text him first
If you don’t know one another quite well then there might be a clash of ideas and priorities once you meet in person. You can know someone over text message as much as they allow you to. So, he might be brilliant, you might kiss and he might be carrying but still has a greater ego. Since he is charming and might be used to get easily the attention of women, he will wait for you to text him first. Yet, on the other hand, you might be the girl that wants him to make the first move. This is that moment when the confusion starts for you and him too. Because both of you are reflecting on your date and providing your needs differently. And without any type of direct communication, you won’t know what he is expecting after the first date.
2. He might have little interest and is still reflecting on the date
The first date is a step further to know one another better and creating a different connection. If he isn’t interested in you while you talk over text then the first date will help him make the decision. So, depending on his ability and the way he deals with his feelings, it will take him a day or a week to reach out to you.
If a guy doesn’t text you a week after your first date and blocks or ignores you then he might not have been interested in you.
Sometimes, a man might just date but then he avoids confronting and admitting his feelings.
When he is interested in you even after the first date, he will try to overcome any type of barrier to keep in touch.
Maybe, it will take him two or three days to reach out to you but he will do it.
3. He might be dating just for fun or because he needs attention
When a guy doesn’t text you after the first date for more than two days then there is a solid answer behind it. As I mentioned earlier, he might still be processing his feelings but if he is just leading you on then he will be hot and cold. You might have an amazing date and he might seem to ask a lot of questions too. With a few words, he is involved in everything that he leaves no room to doubt his actions. Yet, when it comes to continuing the communication, he will rarely initiate texts or calls or even spent time with you.
4. He is trying to find a rebound
A guy didn’t text you after the first date because he is still trying to heal from the last breakup. Now, he is still going through the stages of the breakup and everything is still mixed. It’s important to know that healing is not linear and he might go through stages of the breakup differently from others. One day he might feel like he is over his ex and then the next day he might want to go back to her. That’s why if he is still confused, he won’t text you after the first date. Whenever he feels lonely and anxious, he will try to get back to you so he can fill his void.
5. You might not be the only one he is seeing
Nowadays, the dating apps such as Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble have changed dating games a lot. I mean that a guy will keep his dating options open because he might be talking to multiple girls at the same time. Now, he doesn’t text you after the first date because he is just sorting out his thoughts and feelings. If he had a date with you on Monday, he might have had four other dates that week. So, you might not receive a text during that week because he is busy going on other dates and seeking other options.
6. He is not interested to be in a serious relationship
If a guy didn’t text you after the first date, you might have encountered a guy who is afraid of commitment. The one that dates just for fun and is a player, might text you whenever is convenient for him. In most cases, he might not let you know about his intentions and he will continue to breadcrumb you. If he doesn’t text you after the first date, he will text you after four days or so. He will act as if nothing happened or he will apologize by giving a mere reason. And is quite normal to feel confused and not know what to think or feel. To reflect on this situation and get a grip on it you might need the extra help of a relationship coach. Remember, every situation is different and that’s why their help will provide you with a unique solution.
7. Maybe he wasn’t enjoying the date as much as you
Being on the first date can be quite overwhelming and it’s hard for you to reflect at that moment. You are all caught up in the moment and you’re trying to make the best impression that you can. Being caught up in your emotions, it’s hard to reflect properly on what is going on. Now, you might think that everything is going perfectly and there is superb chemistry between you too. Yet, he might have been just going on with the flow and hiding his true feelings. ~Let’s take for example: If you have been chatting earlier on dating apps or just texting then he might have already created an image of you. Sometimes, people create some expectations of you before meeting each other. To be more specific, he might have started romanticizing you and the relationship way too early. Because of it, once he faces reality, he might start to lose interest.
8. He might be living in a pretty fast lane
Lately, life is pretty busy and it is hard for everyone to balance personal life and work. If he is busy this is not an excuse to not text you after the first date, but still, it might be the reason why he doesn’t reach out to you. He might have a hard week at work and long work hours will prevent him to be committed to his personal life. Indeed, living in the fast lane has been destructive for relationships. Unless he chooses to slow down and balance work and his relationship or dating life, the situation will stay the same. No matter how much of a workaholic he is, when he is into you, then he will start slowly prioritizing you. He will spare even two minutes to text you or just send a voice note.
9. He must have misunderstood your intentions
He might have thought that something was off from your side while you were on your first date. Sometimes, going through past trauma or having a different sense of humor from him will lead him to some misunderstandings. Especially, if you haven’t talked over text or phone priorly then it might be hard to understand each other’s sense of humor. Let’s take an example when you like to use sarcasm because you cope with your past trauma that way. In this case, he might or might not understand that you’re joking and might feel attacked or insulted. Thus, this might push him to pull away and not text you after the first date.
10. He is not a good texter and waits for the right moment to call you
If you started to talk earlier with him before going on the first day, you will notice if he is a good or bad texter. If you went straight forward into this first date without communicating a lot with him previously, then it’s hard to distinguish. Maybe, he is a guy who doesn’t like texting at all and has different texting patterns from you. In general, women are better at words and like to text more than talk on the phone. He still wants to reconnect with you after the first date but he is waiting for the right time to call you. Thus, he doesn’t want to feel desperate or put pressure on you while using phone calls. Yet, when he is interested and a bad texter, he will try to connect with you in two or three days in different ways.
He might come to your place; He might call; He might try to hang out more with mutual friends;
11. Maybe he is following the 3-day rule
If the day went well but he hasn’t texted you yet, he is following the 3-day rule. A guy that is interested in you, kissed you, walked you home, and was affectionate, won’t suddenly back off. In general, a man doesn’t want to look desperate and contact you right after the first date, even if he likes you a lot. The male ego and pride hinder him from contacting you immediately because he doesn’t want to seem weak. On the other hand, he might be texting you too to see if you are interested in him the same way he is. He will give you two or three days to check if you are going to interact with him in any way. I know that this situation might confuse you but keep it simple and don’t panic.
12. You revealed all your feelings and thoughts
The moment that you reveal a lot of yourself and don’t remain mysterious a bit you will push him away. A man that likes you wants to take the lead and find slowly who you are and what you like or dislike. Hence, oversharing might not be your fault. Past traumas and experiences are the key elements that trigger oversharing. Especially, if you have been texting before and you always initiated the texts and overshared every detail from your life. A scientific study claims that in the age of the internet and smartphones people tend to overshare. Since you are not talking face to face, it might be easier for you to tell even your deepest secrets. Thus, during the first date, he might either have different expectations or the date will be dull because there is nothing to know.
13. He isn’t a fan of a 5-date Rule
It is important to know his intentions and whether he is just dating for fun or to marry. Knowing his intentions will help you to define yours and not be sad when he doesn’t text you back after the first date. If he is dating to just find a fling and have a one-night stand, he isn’t going to text you after the first date. He won’t do it either to keep you on the backburner or because your intentions aren’t the same. Mainly, if you explained to him what you expect from dating. If he didn’t know that you are not a fan of hookup culture and you want to take more dates to know him, he will withdraw. To be more specific, the moment that he knows that he can’t get laid down on the first date, he will vanish immediately.
14. He might want to make you pursue him
No one plays the same games in dating or follows the same strategy. A guy that likes to be pursued exists. You had a great date and immense chemistry but now he didn’t text after the first date? Well, he wants to be desired, loved, needed, and have your special attention. That’s why he chooses to back off a little and give the floor to you. If he constantly initiated texts, calls, and the date, now he turns the tables.
He is hot and cold after the first date but he was playful all along; He tried to connect with you emotionally and physically; He tries to make you jealous so you will be more attracted to him;
Is it normal to not text after the first date?
Yes, not receiving a text from him after the first date is normal. Yet, what makes it unordinary is the period that he chooses to not text you. If a week goes by without texting you or interacting with you then he might have lost interest or wasn’t interested in the first place. To find it out if this type of behavior is strange or not you should know his intentions and his texting patterns. These two elements allow you to have a greater picture and find out if he isn’t texting you on purpose or not. When he ignores you on purpose, you might find him interacting with other people even in person or online but not with you. In this situation, not texting you after the first date isn’t normal. Thus, you should try to embrace reality and move forward.
Am I overthinking or he isn’t into me after the first date?
If you are a woman who over feels and is detail oriented most of the time you might be overthinking the first date. That’s pretty normal and you don’t have to feel bad about it. You will overthink especially if you have strong feelings for him and you want the date to go well and earn a second date. ~On the other hand, if he gives you mixed signals from the first date, it means that either he is confused or not interested. When a guy likes you and is confused or needs more time to process everything he will let you know. He will ask for you to wait for him or any other request because he is afraid that you will move on. When a guy is into you, he will make sure to give you the best impression during the first date. Hence, during the first date, you only get to know one another and isn’t about commitment. Yet, if he enjoyed it but is shy or confused, he will find a way to communicate with you and not let you wait and wonder.
Should I text him if I haven’t heard from him after the first date?
Well, even though the situation is ambiguous, the definitive answer is yes. If you feel like you had a great connection and things might evolve, then you should text him. Yet, keep in mind that if he doesn’t text you for more than a week after the first date, he has moved on or moved to neverland. I can understand that when you connect with them emotionally and start catching feelings is hard to start over. So, texting first after the first date isn’t something bad just make sure that you don’t double-text. Because then you might seem desperate and clingy. You won’t give him and yourself to process everything that is happening. Hey, it’s just a first date. If he really wants to be with you, he will do everything to achieve his aim. You can try to initiate contact subtly and simultaneously work on yourself. Do not limit your dating options. Best of luck, Callisto
