Taking someone for granted means undervaluing them, not appreciating them enough, and knowing they will always stay with you no matter what you do. You might think they’ll stay with you forever, but everyone has a limit point and they will leave and not look back when you reach that point. Taking your partner for granted can last until they understand their worth and realize that this is not how they deserve to be treated. Nobody should take so much to wait for their partner to treat them badly and make them feel like they’re not enough. If you’re here to find out what to do when he takes you for granted, you should first be sure that he is taking you for granted! You can find this out in the way he treats you, and if the signs below match his behavior. 11 telltale signs that he’s taking you for granted:
1. He puts you second
Your partner should always be one of your first priorities. And if you feel like you’re not one of his priorities, something’s not right. If he’s always making plans with other people before you, and if he’s being inconsiderate to your needs and wants, he’s taking you for granted. He’s putting his friends, his work, his hobbies, and everything else before you. He thinks that he won’t have to fulfill your needs because you have been there for him for a long time and he thinks that you’ll always be there when he needs you. Whatever you might want from him, he will postpone your plans with him and won’t think that it’s a big deal. He will treat everyone better and with more respect than you. You know he’s taking you for granted when you feel left out from him and you notice he’s losing interest.
2. He doesn’t apologize for his mistakes
It’s not that apologizing can fix the mistakes that are made, but it shows their personality and if they’re able to accept their mistake and promise to not do it again. If he’s making mistakes and not even feeling sorry for what he did, then he doesn’t care that he hurt you. He repeats his mistakes, knowing that you’re going to forgive him even without him apologizing to you. And that’s some kind of manipulation because when you’re in a relationship you don’t want to hurt your significant other. Even if you do hurt them unintentionally, you’ll do anything to make them feel better and to make them forgive you for what they did. But, if he’s not even apologizing for his mistakes, he will make them again because he takes you for granted.
3. He doesn’t appreciate your efforts
Do you always make dinner for him when he gets home and he doesn’t appreciate it? When you’re in a relationship you should do things because you want to, not because you feel like you have to do them. When a man appreciates what you do for him, it motivates you to do even more. But when you feel like he’s not appreciating your efforts for him, and even worse criticize you for your efforts, you should know your worth and do better. You don’t deserve to make efforts for him without getting anything in return, not even a “thank you.” It’s not that a “thank you” is a hard expression to say. It means a lot to the person who makes an effort to do something if the other at least appreciated it. He’s not appreciating what you do because he thinks you’ll always make efforts for him even if he doesn’t appreciate them. And if he’s not appreciating your efforts, you’re with the wrong one.
4. He doesn’t consult with you before making decisions
A healthy relationship doesn’t work out if only one of them is making all the decisions. Both of you should get each other’s opinions on things that matter so that you have two perspectives before making a decision. If he never asks you before making any decisions, he doesn’t think your opinion is valuable. He will make you think that the relationship is burning out, and you don’t have that communication that you had at the beginning when you would consult about everything. In this situation, he’s taking your opinion for granted, and he’s not respecting what you think about a certain thing.
5. He doesn’t take you out on dates
No matter how far you are in the relationship, dates are a must. Some men think that going out on dates has to be only at the beginning of the relationship when you’re still trying to win the girl. But, that’s not true! Going on dates consistently is what keeps the relationship healthy, and the passion alive. And it doesn’t have to be a fancy restaurant or an expensive place. It can be very simple, even at home. When he stops taking you out on dates, he’s starting to take you for granted because now he thinks that he has you and doesn’t need to do that. Dates are not only for winning the girl over but for maintaining a healthy relationship.
6. He never gives you compliments
Girls LOVE compliments. They love giving them, but more than that they love receiving them. He might tell you he likes the dress you were wearing, and that’ll make your day. It takes very little effort to make a woman happy. But, if he doesn’t do that anymore, you might feel like you’re taken for granted because you feel like he doesn’t see you anymore. He doesn’t notice the little things that you do, the changes in your appearance, and things like that. He might be busy with his work or other things, but he can make a little time to compliment you between that. And when he doesn’t compliment you anymore, it might be that he thinks complimenting you is not so important now, when it is.
7. He’s disrespectful
When he takes you for granted he shows signs of disrespect in even the smallest things. For example, he’s late to almost everything, he doesn’t pay any mind to what you tell him, he doesn’t listen to you, and he doesn’t consider your needs. This is often because he feels like his place is secured and that you’re not going anywhere despite his actions. His unacceptable behavior becomes something ‘normal’ that repetitively happens in an organic manner.
8. He doesn’t keep up with his promises
He apologizes for his mistakes, and promises to not do it again, yet keeps doing it again. This is due to the “Nah, she’ll forgive me again.” mindset. On the other hand, he might make a promise or give you his word that he’ll do something and not keep up with what he said. This is yet another product of a “She won’t go anywhere.” passive thought in his head. Staying and trying to save a relationship or leaving and saving yourself from the relationship can be a very challenging decision to make.It takes a lot of self-reflection, a lot of pain, and a pragmatic approach to make the right decision in such a situation.Another perspective, and even better, a professional perspective on your situation can make the weight on your shoulders a lot lighter. A relationship hero whenever you need one!
9. He’s not putting much effort into the relationship
Relationships need effort from both partners to stay on healthy bases. Possibly, you’re the one doing all the work, so the relationship, in this case, comes effortlessly to him. He takes your effort for granted if he’s the one enjoying the fruits of it without giving anything in return. He becomes lazy and doesn’t try much since you’re covering everything up for him as well.
10. His reckless behavior keeps disappointing you
He cheated, you caught him lying about something, or he simply seems to not care about you. When he takes you for granted his behavior becomes reckless and due to that, you’re faced with constant disappointment. He seems to be careless about your feelings and your presence. You could be happier and treated better!
11. You’re sensing that you can be treated better
No matter how much we despise ourselves, at the end of the day we have ourselves to turn to and take care of. When connecting the dots you don’t get a pleasant result, you feel like you deserve better, you feel like he could treat you better. On the other hand, it can also feel like you’re unwanted and undervalued, and it can highly affect your self-esteem negatively. You sense that he could treat you better if only he realized your value and stopped taking you for granted.
What to do when he takes you for granted? Staying or leaving?
If you feel like you’re being taken for granted, you should do something about it. Here are a few thoughtful suggestions on what to do when he takes you for granted:
– First thing, you should talk to him, and tell him how you feel.
Communication is the key to everything, so telling him how you’re feeling can help him realize that he’s taking you for granted. Maybe he hasn’t done that intentionally and wasn’t aware that he was treating you like that. So, telling him how you’re feeling can be an eye-opener to him, and he can change for the better. However, if you’ve talked to him about this and you’ve told him how you felt but nothing had changed, there are some other things that you can do…
– Let him know what your limits are.
When you’re in a relationship, the first thing you should do is let him know your limits. You should both let each other know about your limits so that you are more careful about what you do and how you treat the other. He should know what you tolerate and what you don’t. So, why is it important to set boundaries at the beginning?
Your partner will act based on what you like and avoid doing what you don’t like.
You will have fewer misunderstandings.
There will be a smaller chance for him to take you for granted.
So, if you confront him about the way he treats you, he can’t say that he didn’t know, because you told him at the beginning.
– Treat him how he treats you.
You should always start treating people according to the golden rule which is ‘to treat someone the way you want to be treated.’ If he makes you feel loved, make him feel loved! Always start on the right foot and treat them well. But, when you don’t get the same thing in return after treating them well over and over again, then there’s no point in continuing to do that. So, if he ignores you, ignore him! If he flirts with other girls, flirt with other guys! If you continue to treat them with kindness, and you’re getting nothing in return, you’re just letting him take you for granted. So when he treats you like an option, don’t make him your priority!
– Focus on yourself.
The best thing you can do in this situation is to focus on yourself. Focusing on yourself will help you improve yourself, and be a better version of yourself. Try something new!
Try doing some sports.
Work out.
Learn to play an instrument.
Start writing journals.
Take time for yourself and you’ll see that he’ll come running after you when he sees that you’re not paying that much attention to him. That way you won’t focus on how he’s treating you, and you’ll make him think that he is not that important to you since you don’t care how he treats you. So, when he thinks like that he won’t be able to take you for granted.
– Make him understand that you can live without him.
Not only does he need to know that you can live without him, but also you have to understand that you can. Who said you need a man to live? If you want him to not take you for granted, don’t go out of your way to be available for him! Being available whenever he wants to will make you seem desperate to spend time with him, so he will take you for granted knowing that you’re always available for him. Also, do not be clingy! Men like to chase a bit after girls, so being clingy will make him think you’re dependent on him and he’ll take you for granted thinking you’re not going anywhere. He should have the fear of losing you to not take you for granted. So, let him know that you’re not dependent on him and you can live without him.
– Let him miss you.
Everyone needs their alone time to do their own things. Maybe you’re spending too much time together, without leaving some space in between. Being apart for some time will make them miss you and see how bad it is to be without you. Even Lord Byron said it: “Absence – the common cure of love”. Or, if he doesn’t miss you, you can see that he doesn’t want you anymore and there’s no point in continuing to be in a relationship with him.
– If it brings you joy, dump him!
Whenever you feel like you’re continuously taken for granted, walk away! You don’t have to prove your worth to anyone. If they don’t see it, it’s their loss. You will only disrespect yourself if you try to make them understand that they shouldn’t take you for granted. Don’t lower your standards, and don’t settle for the bare minimum just because of a man who doesn’t appreciate you. Taking you for granted means he’s not respecting you as a person. You don’t deserve to feel unwanted or to feel like you’re taken for granted in a relationship. Love, Callisto
