This is a situation a lot of us have been through and thankfully survived. The question haunts your dreams and it doesn’t let you sleep: Is he going to break up with me? If he’s thinking of breaking up with you, then why won’t he just break up with you? Sometimes it’s more complicated than that… Sometimes people think that silence and wrong behavior is an easier way out of a relationship than a straightforward “I can’t do this anymore.” That can be the easy way out for them but not for us who are suffering the consequences of a slow fade of the connection with a partner we adore. He might be wanting to break up but not know how, or he might be having thoughts about a breakup but is unsure. Either way, if you’re scared that your boyfriend or partner is going to break up with you, you’re not alone. Here are 20 strong signs he’s going to break up with you:
1. He became distant emotionally and sexually
Emotional and sexual distance is often the first signals of a relationship coming to an end. This usually happens when he doesn’t feel the connection with you and when he’s ready to detach from the connection you two share. Distance is often used as a conscious or subconscious way of sabotaging a relationship of which you no longer want to be part. It’s a strong sign of a partner wanting to break up.
2. He seems to be annoyed by your presence
Healthy relationships are built upon love, care, passion, and compassion. In other words, things are going well if you two enjoy each other’s presence. Being annoyed by each other’s presence is the other end of the spectrum… If he doesn’t enjoy your presence to the point where he makes it evident through his body language and his verbal expressions, then it could be one of the signs that he’s going to break up.
3. He’s inconsiderate of your needs
If you’re looking for a way to find out whether he’s going to break up with you, you’ll have to see beyond the momentary things such as one single fight. It depends on the fight but he’s not going to break up with you after a fight for no particular reason. When he sets his mind to break up he becomes careless and inconsiderate of your presence, especially of your needs. Most relationships fall apart when things aren’t communicated properly.Despite the attempts to do so you fail to read your partner’s mind and body language. Yet it seems something is bothering them.What if he’s not thinking of ending the relationship?Professional help and opinions can have tremendously positive effects in such situations in romantic relationships. A relationship hero is within your reach like never before!
4. No emotional or sexual intimacy
The distance he feels from you manifests a lot in your emotional connection and way of expressing himself to/with you emotionally and sexually. He could be thinking of breaking up with you or wanting to make you break up with him through this evident distance. He’s likely to be thinking of breaking up with you when he stops bringing anything to the table (be it sweet words, emotional expressions, or sexual intimacy).
5. You’re starting to sense it
Your gut tells you when things are off and when things are well. We’re constantly giving and receiving subconscious signals from one another. It’s in his behavior, his way of talking, his way of approaching you, his way of looking at you and so much more that has changed. At this point, you’re starting to sense it and the pieces of the puzzle are giving you a sense of what the full picture could look like.
6. He avoids spending time with you
One of the things guys do when they want to break up is use excuses to avoid spending time with you. If he wants to break up but is scared to do so, he’s likely to slowly build distance and coldness between the two of you. This is often considered the easy way out: making the relationship fade away slowly until there’s no point in staying in it any longer.
7. Sex is long gone and meaningless
Sex in a relationship plays an important role. As much as it is perceived as an animalistic act, it often reflects on the emotional connection of the couple as well. Sex is a way of surrendering to your partner and letting them witness and be part of your vulnerabilities. He could be having break-up thoughts if it’s been a long time since the last time he initiated sex or if the sex feels meaningless and dull.
8. Things within the relationship became very dull
There are no longer any fun times, activities, or initiatives for the fun stuff. It can seem that you’re both aware of it and it’s either you the one doing something about it or none of you. He doesn’t put any effort nor care about whether the relationship is standing on the safe ground or not.
9. He’s not there for you
Again, he’s careless when it comes to you and the relationship. When he loves you, he cares when you’re not happy or when you’re struggling. When the love and the willingness to stay in the relationship fades then so does the care and willingness to be there for you when you need him.
10. He’s criticizing you a little too much
When the air within the relationship becomes toxic to breathe, it’s usually because he either is trying to take control and power within the relationship or end it entirely. Criticizing is one of the indicators of resentment within a relationship. He might use it as a tool consciously or subconsciously to repel you from himself and start big fights that eventually lead to a breakup.
11. He doesn’t want to participate in plans and activities
When two people love each other and each other’s presence, they’re willing to do even the most annoying and boring things together as long as they have their partner by their side. In this case, it’s the opposite: he refuses or finds excuses to participate in anything that has to do with you or spending time together.
12. He seems to have given up on the relationship
Strong and healthy relationships take both partners to work on them, to put effort and care into it. You know he’s going to break up when he gives up on the relationship, he doesn’t try to solve problems or issues, and he doesn’t care whether the relationship falls apart or it sticks together.
13. He’s no longer putting any effort
Besides love, protection, and affection, effort is yet another key factor that keeps a relationship between two people together. A way of giving up on the relationship is also stopping putting effort into it. If he’s the one to not care and not put effort into anything within the relationship or you, then he’s likely to have given up on the relationship.
14. He doesn’t express affection to you anymore
Compliments, physical touch, and gifts are just a few ways of showing and expressing affection to your partner. Those often come naturally as a way to please your partner, show them your love, and make them happy. Another strong sign that he’s going to break up with you is when he stops expressing affection and care to you.
15. You don’t seem to be in his plans any longer
When in a relationship with someone you love you tend to have a difficult time imagining the future without them being part of it. In this case, when he’s thinking of breaking up with you he stops making plans about a long-term or short-term future with you. That’s because he doesn’t see you as a part of it any longer.
16. He’s neglecting and avoiding you
Attention is one of the fundamental ways of making your partner feel loved and wanted. Neglect and avoidance are the opposite of that. If he’s not dealing with another issue that’s causing him to be this distant and cold with you, then he could be thinking of ending the relationship with you.
17. He doesn’t care much any longer
You know he wants to end the relationship when he no longer cares to make things work. Care is yet another fundamental value of a healthy and strong relationship. When you care about a person and a relationship it is very difficult to let go of them. If he stopped caring then he can as well be willing to stop the relationship entirely.
18. You can sense resentment in his eyes
One of the strongest signs that someone is going to break up with you is their ability to make you feel the resentment they have when they look you in the eyes. When he’s ready or at least thinking to end things with you, you can sense his resentment, his neglect, and his lack of care for the relationship. Resentment is known for its tremendous damage to romantic relationships, it’s known for the way it breaks them, and the way it sets two people apart, silently or violently.
19. You’re fighting for no reason
His subconscious starts taking over when he’s having thoughts of breaking the relationship apart. Whether he knows he’s doing it or not, when he’s thinking of ending the relationship, he picks fights for no reason. It’s a way to make the relationship self-destructive and slowly make you and him realize that this is no longer working. On the other hand, it can be his suppressed thoughts and emotions coming out in a way that even he doesn’t expect.
20. He’s checking other people
He could as well start cheating, having secret dating apps on his phone (i.e. cheating online), or simply carelessly checking out other people in front of you or when you’re not around. This is yet another way of sabotaging the relationship without having to say the words “I want to break up with you”. You know he wants to end the relationship when he shows a willingness to start another relationship with another person. This phenomenon is known for its destructive effects on relationships. Some do it for the sole purpose of ending the relationship, while some have other reasons for cheating.
Concluding: Does he want to break up or am I paranoid? What to do about it?
He wants to break up with you if he’s very distant, disrespectful, or inconsiderate; if he stops putting effort if he stops caring about the relationship and you as a partner. If he’s behaving in such ways you’re not paranoid. The best thing to do in this situation is to sit down with him and have a mask-free conversation. Here’s what you can do if you sense that he wants to break up with you:
- Tell him how his behavior is making you feel. Use more “I feel like” statements instead of “You’ve been doing this”
- Don’t try tricks or tactics to make him stay. You’ll feel desperate and you’re more likely to end up hurt if you go out of your way to make him stay.
- Have the conversation you’re fearing to have with him. After letting him know how his behavior makes you feel, let him know your willingness to let him go if ending the relationship is what he wants. This is a hurtful thing to go through and it is a very hard pill to swallow, I know. However, it’s better to let him go than force him to stay in a relationship he’d rather not be. You deserve someone who cherishes and brightens up when in your presence. You’ve got this! Love, Callisto
