Just because your ex isn’t holding onto the past that doesn’t mean you weren’t important to them. Sometimes an ex moves on fast because that’s the way they cope with the heartbreak. They might be pushing themselves to detach emotionally so they can heal from the breakup. Your ex might choose to jump immediately into another relationship or enjoy their freedom. How they choose to move on depends all on their attachment style and personality. It’s alright to think about that now your ex has moved on happily and you’re stuck. Don’t worry, everything can be mended and healed with a piece of advice and a little time. Here are 12 things to do when your ex moves fast after your breakup:
1. Don’t suppress your feelings
To recover emotionally after the breakup is quite difficult. Especially, if you have still feelings for your ex, is hard to initiate and continue detachment. It’s quite understandable to suppress your feelings after the breakup. That comes as a result of feeling too many emotions at the same time. In a way, you prevent yourself from feeling as a sign of not accepting denial. When you are not over the relationship yet, you don’t want to accept the end of it. You need to resolve the hurt. The impact that suppressing feelings have on your well-being is tremendous. If you don’t embrace the situation and don’t work on those feelings, you will never get out of that place. Talk to someone that might understand you and help you in sorting out your feelings. This might be the right time to get professional help from a relationship coach or even a therapist.A relationship coach will help you by creating a specific plan to dig into those emotions.Their advice will come all from a subjective point of view!
2. Avoid being delusional about your ex
I know that is hard to accept an end of a relationship but to romanticize it isn’t the best choice. This might be your way to cope with the heartbreak.When an ex moves on fast, you tend to take it personally, and that’s nothing wrong with it. If they jump immediately into another relationship, you will find yourself comparing yourself. No matter what you’re feeling, you still hope to get your ex back. Because you feel like this, you cling only to the positive sides of your relationship. What’s wrong with this way of coping is the impact that has on you.
Instead, try to write down what went wrong in your relationship;
Try to get to know yourself more and connect with yourself;
Try to find your potential by traveling, doing what you like, and finding new hobbies;
Recognizing your own worth too is important. This doesn’t happen immediately but you will get to that point after some months;
3. Take some time to process the information and your feelings
It’s not easy to see your ex move on quickly and then see yourself stuck. There is a level of bitterness with the fact that your ex has someone and you don’t. It’s just that feeling that comes when you feel like you are being replaced immediately. This is how you might feel and it’s quite normal. It feels like some type of indirect betrayal or rejection. If you haven’t already moved on then take your time. ~Go through the memories and your experience. ~Allow yourself to feel the pain, rejection, and everything else. ~Channel your emotions into something productive. The moment you allow yourself to feel what’s going on, that’s one step ahead and move on.
4. Take this experience as an opportunity to grow
These types of experiences can be bitter, exhausting, and energy-consuming. Hence, you should take all this negativity to outgrow. The first step is to learn more about self-love and self-respect. The second thing to do is understand that moving on doesn’t mean you should forget your ex. Moving on means accepting the situation, loving your memories, and embracing change. You can learn to be comfortable with yourself just by taking a step back. I know that in this case, detaching is hard but using No Contact, in this case, is essential. By cutting communication entirely with your ex and quitting social media you slowly start to detach. The moment that you feel good in your skin without the validation of your ex, then you feel free. This might sound like healing the hard way but it’s the right thing to do.
5. Go back to the reason that broke your relationship
Reflecting on the reason your relationship failed can be hurtful. Even if you or your ex is the reason for initiating the breakup, thinking back it might hurt. Yet, it’s one of the most things to do. Instead of concentrating on your ex and their new relationship, focus on what went wrong. Embrace the positive sides of your ex but still look at the other side of them too. You don’t need to either fake your happiness or the way you cope with your feelings. Asking yourself these questions will help you to pin down what you’re going to do next. It will help you to sort out your feelings and thoughts too.
6. Ask yourself what’s holding you back
There are some aspects that you should work on your own that not even venting to the closest people could help. During this time is quite important to work with your unconscious side and identify other issues. This can be possible only through some sessions with different breakup therapists. Working on your feelings means taking a step forward, one day at a time. While your ex moved so fast you might be stuck in the past for different reasons.
- You might still have feelings for your ex.
- You want to prove them wrong and make your ex regret their decision.
- You want to take revenge on them and make them live the pain you’ve been through. In this situation, a therapist will help you to understand the real reason and move on. Here are three reliable resources:
- OnlineTherapy.com
- Taylor Counseling Group
- Good Therapy
7. Work on your attachment style
Reflecting on your attachment style even after the breakup is one of the most important things to do. It might not look important now since you are out of the relationship but this impact your reaction to everything. ~If you have the anxious attachment style then you will be quite anxious and longing for your ex. Especially, if your ex got into a relationship so fast and you feel like you are stuck. You will feel like you need to immediately call and text them, beg to come back. ~If you are a fearful avoidant then you aren’t going to initiate contact and will suppress feelings. Instead of doing it, try to cope differently by letting yourself feel what you’re feeling. Work through it with baby steps.
Write down what you’re feeling.Talk to a relationship coach, a therapist, or a counselor.Set a goal and work towards it to reach the secure attachment style.
8. Don’t try to “win” the breakup
This is the moment that you need to work on your ego. The moment that you proceed with the information of your ex moving on, your ego starts to do the work. I know that being rejected or chosen over for someone else can be a big blow-up for your ego. That’s something quite normal and a situation that everyone might be a part of it. You need to let go of a part of yourself, accept the hurt, and try to look forward. It might seem like you are forcing yourself to change the focus, but that’s only the first step. Focusing on making your ex regret or hurt them will only hold you on the past. It will make you feel bitter, your self-confidence will drop, and you will feel empty. Try to learn from the past and live in the present!
9. Define your terms, conditions, and needs
Experiencing your breakup hurts but what hurts the most is having them come back from time to time. An ex might pretend that is over you but come to you from time to time. In this case, they haven’t moved totally and seek a second chance. Avoid getting back with your ex because they seek any type of attention or validation. Some exes might tell that they have moved on, even be in another relationship and still want your friendship. An ex might want to be friends just to still maintain some type of connection with you. That might cause a lot of trouble for you. You might not be able to move on and focus on your healing journey. You will be constantly confused and left in doubt.
10. Avoid stalking your ex
It’s quite tempting to just have a glance at your ex’s new life. It might look like you’re doing better or it might lower your self-confidence. Either way, if your ex moved on fast and you ask yourself how can someone move on so fast, step back.
Mute your ex or even better shut down your social media.Avoid going to the same places as your ex.Stop hanging out with mutual friends.Remove all the things that remind you of your ex.Find a habit or a new activity to keep you active.
You need to do something new that will change your life pattern. I know that you think, that should have been me, but that feeling will change with time. Still, you might think that this was the person of my dreams and now they aren’t mine. That’s fine. Hence, maybe they weren’t the right ones. So, this is your opportunity to reflect.
11. Understand that you might have been living two different realities
It’s very necessary to accept the fact that you and your ex might not perceive the relationship the same way. You might have been going through two different experiences while being in the relationship. While you might be trying to save the relationship, they might be trying to get out of the relationship. Or while you weren’t trying to reflect on what’s damaging the relationship, they might be trying to make it work. Sometimes being stuck in a negative rapture of a relationship enables you to see the imperfections. You can let your ex go or work on your flaws once you take a step back and see the difference.
12. Try to understand that you might see just one side of the story
Just know that what you are seeing right now might not be something real. Behind every action, there is a reason. Sometimes, nothing is like what it seems. They might be using the other person as a coping mechanism and they have created a rebound relationship. It doesn’t always mean that your ex is completely over you if they move on fast. No ex can move on quickly unless the relationship was toxic and they fell out of love with you. Even in this case, healing and detaching from you will take time a lot. Instead of wondering if they have moved on for real, you should focus on yourself. Focus on what makes you happy, stimulate your brain and try to live in the moment.
What does it mean when your ex moves on quickly?
When your ex moves on quickly means that they’re either out of love or coping with the breakup. The exact meaning of it depends on your ex’s personality and gender.
- Women tend to show before the breakup that they are dealing with issues and that they need to work on them. In general, women don’t tend to break up in a blink of an eye. They try to work on the issues for some time but when they don’t encounter understanding
- Masculinity might be the reason behind the fact that men tend to move on quickly. Their ego doesn’t let them process what they feel and admit their mistakes. Instead, they would choose to detach themselves by joining another relationship and “moving on”.
- On the other hand, it depends on what type of relationship you had. If your relationship was unstable and toxic an ex might move faster. In this case, your ex moved immediately for their well-being. They need to look forward so they can detach faster and heal faster. When you experience an unstable relationship, usually the pain, regret, and feeling small keeps you holding back.
How can someone move on so fast?
Even if you move on fast or your ex that is connected to your feelings and the relationship development.
Your ex might have been struggling with your decision and have been planning it for some time.They were not invested in you as you were in them.They think that they have made the best decision.They do not see any type of potential in your relationship anymore.They decide to look forward and embrace the situation.
As I mentioned earlier, there are many different reasons that your ex moves immediately. I know that it hurts and is a hard fact to accept. Yet, you should be able to forgive your ex and yourself if you want to move on too.
In short: How to get over an ex who has moved on?
To get over an ex who has moved on, you should forgive yourself, and your ex and focus on yourself. Just creating a peaceful mindset will allow you to move on too. Otherwise, just focusing on the fact that you are being replaced will keep you in the past. It’s true and very normal to feel small and unimportant when it comes to being forgotten by your ex. Don’t blame yourself for feeling like that, having still feelings for your ex isn’t something wrong. Focus on things that are under your control. Try to heal in silence and choose what’s best for you. Take care, Callisto Adams
