It feels like you are stuck in a realm of confusion. When you break up, you will feel like you are free and that you have made the best decision. Hence, it comes a time when you start to feel different. You are obnoxious and you feel lonely and suddenly you want to have your ex’s presence. Yet, the most important thing is to know why you are regretting your decision. Is it because you miss them, you feel lonely, or because you still have feelings for them? Sometimes you don’t take this decision on your own. It could be your friends or family advising you to break up because you might be better without him. Nevertheless, you will feel like you have all the power at the beginning. After some time you will do all the begging and pleading. That’s when the tables turn! Here are 12 tips to help you choose what’s the best for you after regretting breaking up with him:
1. Take some time to reflect on yourself
Everyone makes mistakes during a relationship, but the most important thing is to reflect on them. When you hit the dumper’s remorse stage, you need to focus on your feelings. To understand what you are feeling in reality, you need to focus on your personal growth. You need to learn to cultivate solitude and enjoy being on your own. Only when you reach this point, you will find out why you regret breaking up with him. To do this you need to do things on your own step by step. I know that before hitting this stage, you were carefree and thought that you have made the right decision. It felt good to do things on your own and be surrounded by other people. Hence, now it feels painful and you want his presence, it’s quite normal. Solitude doesn’t mean feeling lonely, it means feeling comfortable being in your presence.
2. Make a list of what you like and dislike about him
If you want to reflect better on your ex, you need to see two different sides of your relationship. To be more realistic and do what’s right, start with what you like about him. You need to include both physical and personality traits. When you do it try to list down his negative traits. In the end, you will balance all his traits and how they impact you and your life. Despite this, doing this will give you the opportunity to learn more about yourself. This is the moment that you will learn to sort out your feelings.
3. Sort out your feelings
The first thing that you should do is to pin down what is worrying you. Write in your journal or just a piece of paper every morning. What is worrying you for the whole month? Are your worries different or the same? Write down what you can do to change that situation. If you feel guilty for breaking up with your ex, write down why you feel like that. Add to it what you can at the moment if you want to change the situation.
4. Try to pin down and understand what went wrong
Reflecting on your relationship doesn’t mean that you have to only reflect on your ex’s behavior. If you regret leaving your boyfriend or husband, you need to find out what made you do it. Breakups cannot happen in a blink of an eye when you have strong feelings for one another. It could be a loss of spark or a lack of commitment or communication that initiates the breakup. To get a grip on this situation, you could use the help of a personal coach. ⚪The relationship coaches will ask specific questions so you can reflect properly and be subjective.
5. Have a subtle approach to him
The most important thing to do when you regret breaking up with him is to decide if you want to go back. If you feel that the best thing is to reapproach your ex you need to be straightforward with him. To fix a broken relationship, you need to be open with him and vulnerable. Develop a proper way of communicating with him. It is very important to not focus only on the past but on the present and future. Avoid accusing them. Instead of doing that you can let them know what you don’t like that made you initiate the breakup. Offer him a solution and look if there is a chance for rekindling the relationship.
6. Show him why you have regretted your decision
Regretting breaking up with someone is not something that you plan. It all comes from what you are feeling at the moment and in which state of mind you are. You need to have a solid reason for regretting breaking up with him. If you just wake up one day and realize that you miss him that doesn’t mean that you regret your decision. Missing an ex is one of the stages of the breakup that the dumper experiences later than the dumpee. That is not a certain reason for regretting dumping and wanting to go back to that relationship. If your relationship was toxic, for sure you will miss him even though you dumped him. It’s all the experience and trauma that makes you feel like that. On the other hand, you might be quite codependent on your ex. Once again that is not a proper reason to regret your decision. When you are fulfilled by yourself but you think that your ex is your soulmate, that’s another thing. You can enjoy your solitude but be complemented by your ex at the same time.
7. Trust the process: Know that you can’t force any change
I know that the moment you regret your decision, you want to change things in a second. Hence, that’s not how all of this works because manipulating him will only push him away. Let your ex be, give him the needed time. Respect your ex’s wishes too. You can show slowly that you have regretted your decision but also let them create their boundaries.
First, check what he feels towards you;Second, make him feel secure about you;Third, check if they are pretending to be over you;Fourth, create a safe space for them to express themselves;
The main thing of all above is to avoid playing mind games or be controlling. These elements won’t rush the process and get your ex back faster.
8. Avoid sacrificing yourself for him
It’s quite normal to still have feelings for him or imagine what life could be if your relationship would work. Yet, you need to step back and recognize your needs too. Don’t compromise yourself just because you start to miss your ex and feel anxious after the breakup If this relationship was not good for you then it is better to spend more time on your own. You need to continue doing it until you go through all the grief. Otherwise, you will keep feeling constantly the urge to go back to him for the same reason. Going back to him for these reasons will only leave you miserable. Yes, it will make you happy for a day or two but then you will end up being hurt. You will end up being part of a vicious circle and of an on-and-off relationship.
9. Let him know what made you break up with him
Just like you let your ex know about why you regret your decision, you need to let him know about why you broke up. If you haven’t had a chance for closure then now is time to explain everything. Only if you have this type of conversation, you can let things go or fix them. If you have already told them why you then you may want to have one last conversation with them. ~You can ask him what is bothering you more about your breakup. ~Maybe tell him what you could tell him some untold stories. This is the time when you explain to them what conditions made you part ways.
10. Avoid directing your instant void or anger toward them
The moment when you realize that you regret breaking up with him, you will feel anger. All that anger comes from the place of fear, void, and anxiety. Now, you feel like you are entering an unknown lane and you don’t know how to act. That’s right. You are aware of your actions but now you don’t know how he is going to act. Usually, when you feel like this, you will tend to direct all this anger toward him. ~You might write hate messages or post on social media about him. ~You might call them constantly and accuse them of not calling you. It is quite understandable that you do this to make yourself feel better. Also, I am quite aware that you want them to notice that you have regretted your decision. Yet, this is not the proper way to do it since your ex will start to feel anger towards you too. This anger might increase and turn into hate.
11. Forgive yourself if you want to move forward
The most important step for you is to forgive yourself. If you made a mistake breaking up with him, you don’t need to strain yourself. When you keep constantly bugging yourself, you can’t move forward. Everyone makes mistakes when they are part of a relationship. You might have taken him for granted and now you realize his worth. What could have made you realize his worth are a lot of rebound relationships that failed. That’s okay. You just need to embrace that mistake and learn that people grow. This doesn’t mean that you need to immediately communicate with him. Before doing it, learn their stance towards you.
12. Try to understand that his feelings might have changed
After the breakup, none of you does feel the same. Feelings might have changed for good or for bad. You might regret breaking up with him but he might want to continue just the way he is. ~Maybe he is still healing and wants more time to work on himself. ~He might have realized that you never were compatible. Nevertheless, you need to understand that you might regret but things aren’t the same. If your ex is willing to work toward mending the relationship then take it to step by step. Have a fresh start!
Did I make a mistake breaking up with him?
You will know that you made a mistake breaking up with him when you can’t be in a serious relationship. No one that you have dated can make you feel the same. Hence, if you still have feelings for him, you seem to have a hard time dating someone long-term.
- To know for sure if your decision was wrong, you need to check if you are in love with him or the idea of him. This is one of the most crucial questions to ask yourself. It is quite difficult to make a difference once you are right out of the relationship. Yet, when the time passes, you will be able to sort your feelings. Check if you are romanticizing the relationship or if you are really in love with him. You can do it by focussing on yourself and detaching from him for a while. Try to use the No Contact rule and you will reflect differently.
- Ask yourself a couple of questions that will define your point of view. ~The relationship that you would form now is that going to be the same? ~How do you feel now that your relationship has ended? Have you had any type of progress? You might have ended the relationship because you might have felt stuck. If you have nourished and enhanced as an individual then maybe you didn’t regret the decision.
- You miss him like crazy and you don’t know why the breakup happened. Sometimes, breakups happen in the heat of the moment. When a month is gone, you start to wonder why you did it. When the breakup was done for a foolish reason, you will come to the point that you did him wrong.
- You miss the person you were when he was around you. Love and relationships are all about how your partner impacts you. If he impacted you positively and pushed you to be a better person, you will realize your mistake. It’s that time when he is not around and you feel that you are not the same person anymore. This is the moment that you know, you made a mistake breaking up with him.
Why do I regret breaking up with my boyfriend?
You might regret breaking up with your boyfriend because you miss the idea of him or you miss your old self. You regret breaking up with him when you aren’t certain why you did that. Your breakup could have happened in a blink of an eye. When you are stubborn, both of you, and ignore your feelings, the breakup lasts longer. You will regret it because the reason you broke up wasn’t because of
Cheating;Lack of commitment;Lack of interest;
Other than this, dating when you weren’t ready might make you regret your decision later. If you weren’t ready to be committed or feel loved then, you will regret it now. Now, you might have gone through different stages of your life and have outgrown your mistakes. Nobody stays the same and nobody loves the same in every stage of their life. When you are fulfilled then will realize that he was your soulmate or someone important in your life.
I regret breaking up….
You regret breaking up with him for different reasons, even if these reasons are solid or not. It’s quite normal to want to hear from your ex and enjoy his presence once again. Whatever you do, try to sort out your feelings first and understand what you’re feeling. Once, you go through the stages of the breakup, you will know for sure why you want your ex back. Otherwise, just because you feel lonely and obnoxious doesn’t mean you need to go back. That will only leave you heartbroken and confused. Love, Callisto Adams
