You’ve got thoughts, ideas, and opinions. You’ve got yourself. Well, you’ve got this man too. You find him charming, and attractive, and you kind of wish he was chasing you, right? We’re not going to be running, dear reader, not today. It can be difficult to start something if the initiative is missing, especially when he’s not the one making the initiative. If you’re not feeling appreciated by this man, if you’re feeling like he’s got no idea how precious you are, then this one’s for you! Here are 11 tips you can use to make a guy ‘chase you’:
1. Keep your standards high
Your standards portray the ways you want to be treated, approached, and seen as. It’s what you’d keep up with and what you’d never tolerate. Our stoic and high standards start wobbling a bit once such a charming man enters the picture. You swore you wouldn’t keep up with an immature act from your partner, but now you find yourself swallowing that pill no matter how difficult. There’s a big difference between compromise and sacrifice. Compromise is often done by both sides – you and him – while sacrifice is done by one (or both) of the partners as a way to keep the other happy despite the dissatisfaction that the sacrifice brings. If he seems like he couldn’t care less when you’re sick and you catch yourself excusing his behavior before he does, the bar is low. If you want him to ‘chase’ you, as in, see the real you and know how precious you are, you’ve got to do that for yourself first. Keep your standards high.
2. Be responsive and engaging
You’re not in a relationship to simply gain, get, and benefit from the other partner. You’ve got to be in it because you love your partner and see him for what he is, what he does, as a being. A relationship is about both people involved in it, not just you. While you’re keeping your standards high and seeing whether he meets them or not, be responsive and engaging. Be genuinely curious about him as a person, his preferences, his likes, and his dislikes. This way, you make him feel seen, heard, cared for, and his presence valued. He wouldn’t have it any other way. He’d want more of your presence because it’s soothing, caring, and respectful.
3. State your boundaries and make them clear
Depending on the individual, his self-esteem, his definitions, and his ideas about relationships, he might respect or cross your boundaries. Some people tend to test the waters and if it doesn’t burn the first time they push the boundary to a point where the boundary becomes non-existent. That’s when things get another color of the spectrum: disrespectful. If his behavior aggravates, saddens, hurts, or makes you feel devalued, voice your boundaries. If his behavior is hot and cold, if you sense something that bothers you, find a way to communicate it, say it, and let him know about it. Here: “Your hot and cold behavior seemed a bit unstable, and it’s something I’m not okay with. However, I’m willing to listen if you’re willing to talk about it.” You’re clear, you’re forward, and you’re unapologetic about a boundary that’s set to not be moved nor ever disrespected!
4. Embrace your confidence: You don’t need him to chase you
You don’t want to give him the wrong idea that he’s the center of your world. That doesn’t mean disregarding his presence, that doesn’t mean not giving him attention, and that doesn’t mean being disrespectful towards him. That means you care for him, but that you also care about yourself because you’re an individual who worked hard on herself before you met him. Being confident and independent gives you the dough with the most attractive ingredients out there. He won’t be chasing you, he’ll be running after you. Shifting the perspective from “Oh my, I need this man to chase me.” to “I’m fine, but I’d love to have this man in my life” makes a tremendously big difference. Instead of being desperate for his attention, you’re confident, magnetic, and would do amazingly with or without him in your life.
5. Give it some positive tension: flirt with him
You can’t be rigid and serious at all times. We’re not doing tricks here. We’re achieving a mindset that’s irresistible and healthy. Keep the conversation light, tell jokes, show gratitude, and in fewer words be the amazing you that you are. You can turn things up a notch by:
Building tension and chemistry with touch or teasing words;Touching him lightly;Being playful with your words, complimenting him, but not giving in too much;Giving him a passionate kiss he won’t forget;Smile at him when you feel like smiling;
You are giving him something he can look forward to. You’ve dropped some hints that you are attracted and you’re waiting for him to step it up a bit.
6. Have fun with him: be playful
You don’t have to be rigid and cold. He’s likely to chase you if you act that way, but that is not healthy. Not a single bit. Have fun, enjoy your date, joke around, and make your time together amazing and unforgettable. You can flirt with him and show off your feminine energy. It is the energy that you glow that will pull him closer. Instead of playing a game or using a trick that’s likely to get him hooked on a false idea, get real and fun. Make your time with him worth it. And if he’s not okay with it, you’ll dodge a bullet by filtering him during the early stages. It’s part of knowing your value and worth. Being unapologetically fun. It’s also immensely sexy and will get him to chase you for who you really are.
7. Avoid games
Playing hard to get, pretending to not care, and not responding to his texts on purpose for hours or days, are unhealthy ways of communication. They won’t get you anywhere. We’ve done an experiment on this, and the results were as we expected them. The guy did the chase, but she had to pull more tricks each time because the moment it’d get real he’d pull away. Breadcrumbing him by giving him the best of your attention for a second and then getting stone cold for two seconds can be very damaging. If you want him to chase you, you want to show your true self instead of feeding him fantasies or playing mind games that’ll eventually lead to heartbreak. This way you’re intellectually challenging, instead of in for a game of temporary thrill and chills.
8. Avoid letting your life and choices be driven by him and his perception of you
You don’t have to drop everything the second he calls to hang out. Having plans and canceling for his sake is not a healthy beginning. In a way, you’re putting yourself aside, your plans, and your choices so that you don’t let him down. That needs to change! Don’t let your life and choices be driven by him and his perception of you. Instead of “What’s he going to think if I do this.” you need to have an “I’m doing this for myself regardless of how he perceives me.” approach. Again, there’s a compromise, and there’s sacrifice. Hanging out it’s something small, but canceling everything just to hang out with him is likely to give him the idea that he’s the center of your world and that you’ve got nothing else going on in your life. He will recognize that you have other engagements that keep you busy, are independent, and aren’t sitting by the phone anticipating his call. You can’t change the patterns of your life for him. You need to keep doing what you were doing priorly to meeting him, giving him a glimpse of your beauty.
9. Avoid over-texting him
Reciprocating when texting is crucial to maintain a healthy connection. However, over-texting can be repelling sometimes. Keep your texts elaborate, and to the point, but also give him room to continue the conversation. If you have a conversation, don’t just leave it in the middle of it and then text back a few hours later. Be respectful, be kind, and engage in your text conversations. Sure, you can leave him wanting more and spark his curiosity by answering particular questions a bit more interestingly or taking some time to reply. If you give him a little, it will give him something to work on for a long time. Take the initiative to text, but not a lot. Let him put in the effort too. Remember, this needs to be reciprocal.
10. Stick to the realness of your personality: Don’t chase him
If you are trying to impress him and get him to chase you, you also need to play your part. You can be confident, sexy, good-looking, clean, and good-smelling, but you can’t deny the beauty and glow of your personality. Sure, focusing a bit on how you look can grab his attention in a positive way. However, you don’t want him to be the main drive behind your actions, looks, and thoughts. Don’t change the way you dress just because it’s his type, don’t change the way you talk, smile, or laugh for the sake of impressing him. Wear what you’re comfortable with, keep your hygiene, get your confidence going, and most importantly, stick to the realness of being you. There is nothing sexier than a woman feeling good in her own skin. And I can’t stress this enough! This is something that he can sense, and will want to get to know you better.
11. Don’t rush into projecting something that isn’t there
By doing this, he can see that you aren’t in any kind of rush to start something, you’re just enjoying his company. Create an enjoyable experience for him to leave him wanting more. Thus, he will feel the need to seek you out and spend more time together. Stay true to yourself, don’t rush things, and don’t force things to go in a particular direction. Take it as easy as you can and enjoy the experience of getting to know him. This will allow you to be more engaged and present when with him. Being engaged, present, and entirely yourself when you’re with him is very likely to result in a pleasant time that you’ll share together. Who wouldn’t want to spend more of their time with a person that’s easygoing and pleasant to be with?!
How is the standard “chase me” mentality toxic? Why would a man want to chase me?
The standard flow of the “Make him chase you” is usually followed by tips, tricks, and games that make him chase you for realsies. Different from the one mentioned above, the standard “make him chase you” guide contains advice on playing hot and cold, unstable, and mysterious. This leads him to get confused a lot of the time, questioning things, questioning himself and his worth, and well, wanting more of your presence to figure those out. In a way, those are things imposed. There’s nothing natural or healthy about it. You’re making him do something, you’re imposing it. It’s forced. Here’s what happens when you play the standard games and tricks to make him chase you:
He gets hooked on an unrealistic idea of you.He’ll want what he can’t have and it’ll take a toll on his self-esteem.He takes it as a challenge to get you rather than an opportunity to get to know you.He’ll be wanting your attention for the sake of proving himself that he can get your attention.You’re left with the constant need of playing a game because that’s the only way he’ll stay.You’ll attract the wrong people in your life and you’ll rarely get a chance to be yourself truly.
What’s the best way to respond to the man I’m attracted to chasing me?
You met this one guy and he’s chasing you. But you don’t mind it because you find him attractive as well. However, you’re not sure how to let him know that you are attracted to him. Since you can sense that this attraction is mutual, you want to explore it further. Here are 5 tips on what’s a good way to respond to the man you’re attracted to chasing you:
This is how you do it realistically! – Getting a man to chase you
Getting him to chase you is all dependent on your behavior and how you want to approach him. You don’t have to go beyond your way to get someone to like you. Keep things real, genuine, and healthy. You don’t need a man to chase you to prove yourself or anyone else your worth and value! Don’t undervalue yourself. Be confident and show your values like a gem, and if he doesn’t notice them you’ll be okay with it because you find fulfillment within you: your world and joy don’t depend on him. Immense love, Callisto
