Your ex can unblock you after a month, six months, a year, maybe seven years, after the breakup.  Once you notice it, no matter how healed you are you will start to wonder why he unblocked you but no contact yet.  There are multiple scenarios of why he has chosen this moment to unblock you but hasn’t contacted you yet. When an ex unblocks you that means that either they have moved on with life or have been stuck in the bitterness of the breakup. It all depends on how you broke up and how much time has passed since your breakup.  Either way, the most important thing to do is continue with No Contact if you already started using it.  If an ex needs time to process from unblocking to wanting you back then he or she would manage the situation to reach out to you. To avoid confusion and understand your situation in detail, here are 9 reasons why your ex has unblocked you but hasn’t contacted you yet: 

1. He is neutral. Doesn’t hate or love you anymore.

Once your ex chooses to move on with his life whether your breakup was bad or not, that’s when he decides to unblock you and not contact you anymore. Now he is a part of the neutral realm and doesn’t want to stay on bad terms with you.  It is normal if you feel confused and you wonder how you would know that he has already moved on. You will know that your ex has moved on and is not interested in you anymore once he unblocks you in any other platform but doesn’t interact with you in any of that.  If it goes up to one month after your ex has unblocked you but didn’t reach out to you then that is a firm sign that your ex has turned a new page. 

2. He feels guilty and doubts his decisions 

If your ex unblocks you after the third week of No Contact then he is confused by his decisions. The dumper second-guesses his decision once the breakup hits him.  He wants to have a glimpse at your life and make a comparison if he has made the right decision by breaking up with you.  Also, by unblocking you he wants to give you the sign that his stance towards you has started to change after the breakup. 

3. He might be playing games 

If he has been blocking and unblocking you a few times but yet no contact then he is using this as a method to have you under his control.  A controlling partner cannot accept the fact when things don’t go his way.  He aims to indirectly play mind games with you. Being active on social media, unblocking you but not interacting with you, he has one aim.  He aims to play with your emotions and feed his ego.  

4. He wants you back but is afraid of rejection 

When he unblocks you, he has something in his mind. He might unblock you but still can’t find the courage to text you first after the breakup. Your ex might have outgrown his mistakes and wants to send you a sign that he might look for a chance to reconcile the relationship.  That first talk after the breakup can be a little intimidating and most men are afraid of rejection. Take a close look at whether he is active on social media or if he likes your posts or sees your stories.  That all depends on what type of relationship and breakup you had, but if you have moved on from this relationship and the relationship ended for you then don’t initiate the conversation. 

5. He is curious about your life 

Out of rage and anger, most of the exes choose to block their ex-partner. If you choose to be distant from your ex, based also on your relationship, your ex will start to miss you. Since you have not been contacting him and begging and pleading to unblock you then that’s the moment he starts to be curious about you.  By unblocking and not contacting you any further, he wants to have some control and wait for your reaction. 

6. He might want to reconcile things but he is uncertain 

Even if he feels like he made a mistake by breaking up with you and decided to unblock you, he might still feel puzzled.  By unblocking you and not contacting that means that he is waiting for your reaction so he can decide whether to reconcile things or not.  If your ex unblocks out of blue then he might feel lonely and nostalgic yet he doesn’t know whether you are the right one for him.  In this case, if your feelings have changed and you moved on, try to continue and focus on your life. 

7. He feels nostalgic but doesn’t want to communicate 

The nostalgia hits the dumper slowly after 30 days of No Contact and that triggers him to have a sneak peek at your life.  He unblocks you hoping that maybe you’ll initiate a text or interact in any form with him. He doesn’t want to initiate the conversation since he thinks that he might sound desperate and needed even after the breakup.  Nostalgia isn’t a strong reason to come back and unblock you and wait for your reaction.  In this case, what we recommend you to do is continue with your life and your healing. If your ex wants to redeem the relationship then it will take some time.  He will take the needed time, swallow his pride and find a way to reconnect with you and not stay silent.  

8. His rebound relationship failed 

If your ex blocks you and starts a  new relationship after the breakup but after some months unblocks you, he has failed to find enjoyment from the other relationship.  If his rebound relationship didn’t work he will back at you just to check if there is a second chance for him. To fill the void that he feels now, you pop up in his head as a second plan.  You might feel anxious and be a part of an emotional storm, try to not include feelings and see things from a different angle.  It is better to shift the mindset from: “He or she unblocked me but no contact yet” to “I will nourish myself and attract what’s best for me.” 

9. He wants your attention to feel better about himself

Men with low self-esteem can’t be self-confident, happy, or feel like themselves when they don’t have someone to be dependent on.  When he decides to unblock you, he might not be in any relationship right now and is searching for a target to make himself feel better.  To boost his ego, he unblocks you with the idea of you always going back to him. He hasn’t accepted the fact that you might continue to live without him and that you have moved on.

Why has he blocked you in the first place? 

A man might block his ex for the same and different reasons that a woman might block her ex. He might block you out of rage, anger, pain, envy, jealousy, and because he wants to move on from this relationship. It doesn’t matter if you are the dumpee or vice versa, the blocking game begins when one feels hurt or confused and wants to prove that they can be strong on their own.  ~ If you had a bad breakup then he might block you because he is over the relationship with you and wants to cut off ties with you and turn on the new page. Many dumpers do this right after the breakup because they think that now is the time to enjoy the freedom of being single.  ~ You went No Contact right after the breakup and he cannot accept the fact that you aren’t begging and pleading anymore.  ~ It might be an instant mistake. Every person has their ego but if he has a greater ego then he might block you immediately after the breakup. To put it in simple words, after a few weeks or months, he will regret his decision.  ~ He thinks that this would make you chase him after the breakup. Many men think that blocking women may trigger women to chase them after the breakup.  ~ He chooses to block you as a way of re-establishing himself and chooses to move on.  ~ He chose to be part of a new relationship. This depends on when your ex decided to block you whether right after the breakup or months after that.  If your ex was part of infidelity before breaking up or had lost feelings about you previously then he will block you to create or continue with another relationship. 

What to do when your ex unblocks but doesn’t reach out?

There is quite a confusion and anxiety created after an ex unblocks you. Questions that will be raised are the same as when he blocked you before.  You are uncertain, wonder why he would do that, and how you’re going to react.  He can unblock you after a month, a year, or even after 7 years but the chaos that is created is the same.  If you have been using the No Contact rule, you wonder if you have to break it and reach out to your ex?  Here are 8 tips to follow to find your balance after your ex unblocks you but doesn’t reach out to you: 

Be patient and take your time. Be aware to not jump immediately and contact them. That will give your ex the impression that you were waiting for him and you didn’t move on with your life.

If you want to stay friends with your ex or just to be on good terms then just stay in contact enough to have a simple talk.  You are not trying to retract him or be in a relationship, you just reflect the growth that you had during the breakup. 

Try to be calm and don’t overthink it. At this time you need to remind yourself how much it took to go back to yourself and heal from the breakup. 

Focus on your life and your previous growth. Don’t try to initiate a conversation if you don’t know the real reason that lies behind his actions. 

Ask yourself if reconnecting with them would impact your current life. 

Don’t unblock just to unblock. If you have unblocked him too, don’t try to unblock him just because he did it first or you want to take some type of ‘revenge’ on him. 

Don’t stop nourishing and valuing yourself. Don’t let his actions stop your journey from developing yourself. 

Try to stay away and don’t fall into the trap of getting blocked again. Many women take this as a sign of wanting to reestablish communication and recover the relationship. 

It is very hard to tell if that is an open call for reconnection if it isn’t followed by any other action. 

Clear your mind and block him. If you have been part of a toxic relationship then it is better to decide and block your ex (if you haven’t done it until now) and continue with your personal growth. 

  1. Should I wait for my ex to message me after being unblocked or should I message him? It depends on your situation and for the reason that your ex unblocked you.  If he has texted to you before but you haven’t responded then if now you are thinking clearly and want to reconcile the relationship, you might initiate the text.  On the other hand, if you are over the relationship and your ex has blocked you as a form of punishment and anger then it is better to wait and not text first.  Put yourself first and if he wants you back then he will get your attention in any form possible.  2.  Why did my ex-girlfriend unblock me but is ignoring me?  She would unblock you and then choose to not contact you for a few reasons:

She knows that you are still keen on her and wants to indirectly make you contact her. 

If you initiated the conversation after she unblocked you then she is ignoring you because now she has achieved her aim.She triggered you to contact her first and get a grip of your stance towards her. 

She might be hoovering and just wants to have you under control again.

She might have moved on and wants to reconcile things with you. If she has blocked you immediately after the breakup and told you that she needs time, she wants to reconnect.

She has moved on and wants to be just friends. 

It’s a wrap: Dealing with being unblocked….

Men and women at times make wrong decisions or are indecisive but that doesn’t mean that one can’t change himself or herself and their decision.  Take any advice that is suitable for you and customize it to your situation. Be strong and solve this situation by thinking clearly. Don’t be led by your feelings. Breath deeply, don’t fantasize, and be bold!  Warm hugs, Callisto

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