Men generally don’t like to wait around too much, they’re known to like the physical presence of their partner hence texting without meeting up might seem a little weird. He texts all the time and is never tired of texting, but when it comes to making plans to meet, he’s not up to meeting with you. Now, what’s the deal with this guy? Well, this might be okay if you just started talking to him. But, if weeks and months go by with just texting and no meeting, that’s not very usual. Here are 11 reasons why he will text you every day but not make plans:
1. He’s only looking for a surface-level connection
Someone who has serious intentions with you and considers committing to your relationship will want to meet you every chance he can get. When a guy is not emotionally attached to you, he doesn’t want to take the relationship to another level, so texting will let him have this surface-level connection. This connection will help him text you when he’s bored and fill that need for connection, but not more than that. It’s a dating trend known as cookie-jarring. It could be that he keeps things superficial so that you’re there whenever he needs you to be when he’s lonely. Texting without meeting up will keep him in this place of comfort for as long as you let him and continue texting him. Texting all the time and never making plans to meet is likely to be because of his want for a surface-level connection.
2. He’s attached to someone else
If a man texts you every day but doesn’t make plans, it’s likely that he’s attached to someone else. He might text you every day but still be attached to someone else that he has a deeper connection. He probably texts you in his free time or when he’s not talking to the other woman (or women) because one is not enough for him. If he’s making plans with the other(s), maybe he can’t fit you in his schedule, so he keeps it light: texting only. On the other hand, he might not make his intentions clear – he might be seeing you as a friend only while having a romantic connection with someone else.
3. He has a challenging job schedule
It’s understandable if he has a job that has a challenging schedule and he is not free to make plans with you. But, it is difficult to keep texting him after weeks and months have passed and he’s still not making plans with you. A job might usually keep you busy for weeks, but there will definitely be spaces within a week or a month in which one can have free time for a cup of coffee. That’s why things start to get suspicious when he doesn’t make plans for that long. However, it is a possible reason why he might not be able to make a plan with you. In this case, patience is the key.
4. He’s not a big planner
The man that you’re texting could be not making plans because he might not be a big planner. Even though it’s not common for men to not plan things with the girl that they want to meet, it still could be that he just is not good at planning things. He doesn’t know how to use his time and schedule and how to make time for things and people that he wants to spend time with. He will text you every day and that’s where you’ll get confused. You feel like he’s interested through text but then he doesn’t make plans to meet. He could be clumsy in that department. Some people just are. His words twist, his thoughts crash, and he’s left with a blank space within his mind.
5. He’s shy
His shy personality might be a projection of some insecurities he might have made him fear a plan to meet up. He might be shy to ask you out because of his fear of rejection, so he doesn’t even try to make plans. If he’s insecure about something in himself, he will try to hide behind the phone screen and just text you. Maybe he will text trying to turn the conversation to the topic of meeting each other, but he won’t directly make plans. He will wait for you to make the first move to be sure that you like him, and maybe then he’ll take it from there.
6. You’re his backup plan
Being his backup plan means that he is texting you, but at the same time, he is exploring other options that are available to him. It’s a very common reason that men don’t make plans with you but only text you. He’s leaving you as his last option if nothing else works out. It’s never good to be the last option to someone, and it’s never good to have people as your backup plan. A harsh truth, unfortunately fairly common in the post-modern dating world.
7. He’s still observing: it might take him some time
He’s still unsure whether he likes you or not, and making plans with you seems like confirming something when it’s not yet confirmed to him. He is observing to make sure if you’re worth going out with or not. This way, to him, it’ll be easier to understand the type of person you are, your likes and dislikes before he gets to see you in person and make a move. He’s waiting until he’s sure that he likes you and that you like him to make the next move and make plans to go out with you. Even though you can usually get to know a person better when you meet them, he might be the person who thinks that he will know you better through text.
8. He’s a dismissive avoidant
A dismissive-avoidant will avoid intimacy and any romantic connection with you. This is why texting is an easy way to communicate with people, without having to meet them and go further. Dismissive avoidants don’t like forming and maintaining social bonds with people and they don’t understand the value of relationships. If he’s a dismissive avoidant he will avoid making plans with you for the fear of creating an emotional bond with you. This way, you’re more likely to hear superficial conversations, rather than something deeper that might lead to an emotional connection.
9. He has unfinished situations with his ex
Another reason that he’s only texting without making plans is that he might have unfinished situations with his ex. If he is still stuck on the idea of his ex and he has some unfinished business, he won’t make plans with you until he solves these issues. On the other hand, he might still love his ex hence he could be trying to get his mind off of her by texting you but with no intentions of meeting with you.
10. He’s married
Making date plans with someone while married might get one into trouble, right? Well, as much as I hate to admit it, the infidelity statistics show how frequent online cheating is. If he texts you every day and he doesn’t make plans with you, it could be because he is married. He might be afraid of getting caught by his spouse if he meets up with you, so he keeps your connection secretive by keeping it through text only.
11. He doesn’t want to see you: you’re fulfilling a particular need of him
Some men will text you and they’ll never ask you out or make plans with you because they just simply don’t wanna see you. As puzzling as this sounds, it’s yet another phenomenon that happens quite frequently in the post-modern dating world. He might text you because you’ll boost his ego, or you make him feel better about himself but when it comes to meeting up, he just doesn’t want to see you. His intentions are only to spend some free time texting you and nothing will come out of that. He might see you as someone he can use to fulfill a momentary need while he feeds your imagination with the hope that you’ll eventually meet up.
12. He’s catfishing or kittenfishing you
This is a harsh truth, and even worse, a very common harsh truth of the reality of the dating world. Catfishers are the ones to hide behind a screen pretending to be someone else. Meeting up with you will reveal his real face and persona, hence he stays safely tucked behind the screen unwilling to put it all at risk. If you haven’t seen him in person before, and you met him online, then you better be careful. Someone with the intention of building a genuine connection will eventually agree to meet up instead of feeding you with hopes that go beyond a sole virtual presence.
What to do when he only texts but never makes plans to hang out?
When the guy you’re texting is not talking about asking you out or making plans to hang out with you even after weeks or months of texting, it can’t go on forever. The relationship should either start getting better by going out otherwise it won’t go anywhere. It’ll be stagnant within the bars of texting. Here is what you can do to give this connection another direction:
– Take the matter into your own hands: Suggest meeting with him.
Try to start seeing if the connection is going anywhere, or if it’s a dead end. If you wait for him and he doesn’t ask you out, try to talk more about going out and how nice it would be if you spent time with each other. You can casually suggest meeting with him without making it sound like it’s a big deal. You can say something similar to: “How nice would it be to go out in this beautiful weather!” This won’t pressure him and you’ll see if he’ll take the hint and ask you out, or take the hint and entirely change the flow of the conversation.
– Call him out, gently.
Calling him out doesn’t mean being harsh on him that he hasn’t made plans with you. You can call him out in a polite manner, without making him feel bad. Here’s what you can say: “I’ve noticed that you love texting, and I would like to get to know you better by hanging out with you. When are you asking me out, sir?” It will make him feel wanted by you and he might think about it more and decide if he wants to go out.
– Let him know that it bothers you.
When a man only texts you without asking you on a date or just to hang out, and that’s not what you expect from that relationship, you should let him know. Be clear about your boundaries, expectations, and standards, and let him know what you’d like. This way, you make a good start and a good setup for a healthy connection. It will be his decision whether he wants to meet those expectations or continue his way and not make plans with you. At the end of the day, it will give the relationship a direction and your confusion an end.
– Value your time and energy.
It’s not good to lower your standards if what you want and what you think you deserve is not served on the table. Try to value your time, energy, and yourself as a person and walk away if you expect the bare minimum and you don’t get even that. Maybe you will wait for him to ask you out, and he might never will, so you will just waste your time with people who don’t value your time and energy. So, turn to yourself, and be the one to value your time and energy instead of expecting him to do so.
– If he doesn’t want to meet, cut ties with him.
If you’re a person that wants to hang out in person in order to get to know them, you want to see the person to connect more with them. If he’s not making plans to meet you even after a long time of texting, make it clear to him that you can’t know a person unless you meet them. If he still makes no effort more than texting, reconsider texting him and try to avoid texting him back.
Is it a red flag if he doesn’t make plans?
Unfortunately, it is! Unless he has a very strong reason that excuses him not making any plans whatsoever but only texting, it usually is a red flag. A man who is interested in having a relationship with you or who likes you won’t go weeks and months without meeting up with you. Men want to have that physical connection apart from texting all the time and when they avoid that, that’s a hint that they are either not interested in you, they’re playing games, they’re dangerous, or they’re not ready for anything at the moment.
Final thoughts: Is he waiting for me to ask him out?
He might be! However, it’s not common for men to wait to be asked out by a girl. They usually take this step and ask the woman out and don’t just keep things dry to the point where your expectations dry as well. It’s important for men to meet up physically with the girl they like, so they usually ask them first and don’t wait that long for the girl to ask. Even if he is waiting for you to ask him out, there’s nothing wrong with a girl asking a guy out. You can try asking him out, if he accepts then make sure that you pick a safe and public space to meet up. Remember, meeting up in person will ruin a catfisher’s plan whatever that plan might be. Stay safe, Callisto
