There is no hidden meaning. He might need this time alone work to work on his feelings and distance himself from an overwhelming situation. Indeed, this situation gives you mixed signals because he says that needs time but still Needing space doesn’t mean cutting all contact with you. What makes the difference is how many times during the day or week he texts you. The meaning behind his actions can only be known by the way he interacts with you. So, let’s find the meaning of it by going through these 12 situations:
1. He needs some time to sort out his thoughts and feelings
No relationship is perfect. You will encounter ups and downs and there will come a time when either you or your partner will go through changes. He might need clarification about his feelings and life in general. Right now, he might feel lost. It doesn’t mean that he isn’t interested or doesn’t have feelings for you anymore. He is inconsistent because he is not sure how he feels about the relationship and you. This inconsistency can be a part of his past trauma or of his attachment style. If he is a fearful-avoidant then he might go back and forth because he doesn’t feel secure while getting closer to you. Also, if he has been betrayed or hurt in past relationships, he will be scared of abandonment and takes a step back.
2. He has something going on in his life
Right now, he might be pressured in other areas of life and needs to be focused more on his life. This happens especially in the early stages of dating when his focus isn’t only on you. He might have some family issues or something else going on and he needs to focus on that. Now, he just doesn’t want to lose you but he isn’t ready to commit fully because of other problems. A man, in general, will not express his feelings or what’s going on with him during the first stages of dating. He will focus on his things and text you when he feels like it. I know that this is a hard pill to be swallowed but during this time, he will give you mixed signals constantly.
3. His opinion or feelings about you have changed
If you have been going on a few dates and you feel like he’s pulling away, he might not feel the same about you. This might happen for different reasons. He might have been romanticizing the idea of you and now this idea was shattered. He is still keeping you as a backup plan if his feelings change or he doesn’t find someone better. In this situation, it is better to give him the space that he needed and reflect on his behavior. He might not be quite interested in you but will still breadcrumb you just to keep in contact.
4. He is no longer attracted to you
If your relationship was going through ups and downs and you’re slowly disconnecting, he will need some space to rethink. In particular, if you’re doing LDR then he will ask you to give him some space but will keep texting. It depends on your relationship but he will text you once in a while just because he’s used to your presence. Also, he will stick around just to test the waters and to fill the void when he is lonely or bored. It’s quite a complex behavior to break down especially when you’re not near one another. To help you with this matter, a relationship coach is ready to listen to your story. They will offer you a free first session so you can get to know one another and look for a solution.
5. He isn’t ready for a serious relationship
Being committed to a relationship is one of the biggest issues nowadays in the dating world. If you have been with this guy for a year and suddenly he needs space but still texts, he isn’t ready for the next stage. When you have been dating for a year but you aren’t exclusive yet and you have the talk, he will take a step back. Now, he doesn’t want to end all of this situationship and wants to keep you hanging. During this phase, you will feel alone, unvalued, and mixed up. While getting all the benefits of a relationship, he isn’t reciprocating.
6. He is just keeping you around
He might have started a new relationship or he is keeping his dating options open and you have no idea. So, he won’t let you know about it and can’t commit at the same time. What he will do, he will take some time apart from you to try out his new relationship. It’s like a dating pattern that most men follow, he cannot let you go but doesn’t prioritize you. As a result of his behavior, you will be left upset and confused. His texts will be stale and short. He won’t be bothered to know how your day went or how you’re feeling.
“What’s up Bailey?” “Heyy yoooo.”
7. He doesn’t want you to form a relationship with anyone else
If he is controlling or a narcissist then he will do this to keep you under their control. He might not have feelings for you anymore but he just doesn’t want to let you go. He aims to make you feel needy and to “value” his presence. He might even tell you to give him space, to move on but still texts you maybe twice a week. These are all mind games to prevent you from moving on and healing.
8. He is trying to put himself in your position
Your relationship might have been toxic or you might have hurt him, so he needs time to process the situation. He will say that he needs space but texts you because he still cares about you no matter what. In this case, his texts will be genuine and detail-oriented. The energy that he will give you through these text messages will let you know that he still cares.
He will ask you about your day and if you need anything; He will help you even without asking;
In a few words, he will do everything to show that he cares. Yet, he needs this time alone to reflect on the relationship because otherwise, he couldn’t do it while interacting with you daily.
9. He regrets his decision
If you got into a fight and he needed some space but he still texts you, it means that he might have regretted it. Also, he might have concluded that this relationship has a positive impact on him. Sometimes, this type of detachment is needed when the relationship feels overwhelming. This type of relationship pause, helps you to appreciate more one another. It gives you the chance to reflect on your relationship and see things differently.
10. He is testing you
This is a game that your date or even boyfriend might be using to check your effort. I know that this isn’t something fair to be done but a man will do it. He wants to see how much you care about him and whether you’ll initiate contact or not. A guy will do this just to check if he can trust you and if you are ready to enter a serious relationship. This is a hard situation to deal with because you’re confused and you don’t know that you’re being tested. What you can do in this situation is to stay calm and respect his decision. If he texts you once a week, try to check up on him too from day to day. Don’t let yourself get mad or irritated even though it’s hard to do.
11. He needs to recharge
If he is an introvert, he will need his space from time to time. If he still manages to text you then he doesn’t want to cut contact with you. He has no desire to cheat, he needs this time to reflect, think and regroup. In this case, he will let you know that he is feeling overwhelmed and needs to focus on his needs and thoughts. He will text you from time to time when he feels ready to connect with you again. In this case, you shouldn’t take this as something personal because he will act with others the same. It’s not that he won’t like to prioritize you or the relationship. It means that this time apart helps him to feel energized and ready to hang out with you fully. What makes the difference here, is that he won’t be gone for too long. He needs mostly some days to get back to you.
12. He has a borderline personality disorder
If he has a borderline personality disorder then he will have a lot of mood swings. Because of it, most of his relationships will be unsteady. It’s like his feelings are mixed up but he can’t control them. One day he will shower you with love and the other day he feels like he hates you and needs space. The next day, he will feel differently and needs your presence that’s why he texts you. Now, he also might be struggling with self-image and being loved that’s why he chooses to run away. It’s something hard to deal with and very complex behavior. In this case, you need to understand how he is feeling and try to give him the needed space to get himself together.
If I am in the process of giving him space, should I still reply to his texts?
One thing that you need to do when he needs space but still texts you is to reflect on these texts. You don’t need to reply immediately because at this moment you might be confused by his behavior.
~First, try not to be mean to him
You might say that this is easier said than done but try to put yourself in his position too. I know that this situation isn’t easy for you too because you’re left in the dark wondering what happened. Yet, choose kindness and try to understand him. One, take a step back. Two, ask yourself, what’s like to be in a relationship with you. Try to see if there is something that you might have done to hurt him. Three, just let him go for a while. It’s not easy but try to keep moving in your lane. When you give him the space that he needs and you work on yourself, you won’t be constantly overthinking. If you overthink all the time then you will also add non-existent details to the situation.
~Ask yourself how you feel about him
From the moment that he needs space to the moment he texts you, you will go through a roller coaster of feelings. You will feel rejected, unwanted, unlovable, and puzzled. Now, he might contact you after a week, two weeks, or more, and then you won’t feel the same either. If you feel like replying to him then do it. Your reply will depend on the way he interacted with you after asking for space. You have the right to choose when and how to reply to him too.
~ Ask him what made him come back and what made him go
His decisions will let you know a lot. Knowing the reasons, you will know how he feels for you now. If he couldn’t work on his issues and doesn’t feel the same about you then the relationship will fail again. It’s better to understand and accept how he feels than to be excited that he keeps texting you. If you keep only hanging on to his text messages and you won’t communicate your issues, nothing will work out. You’ll end up being hurt and confused once again.
Final Thoughts: Why is he still texting me if he wants space?
He is still texting you if he wants space because he needs your presence, he is working on himself, or needs attention. Needing space isn’t a negative thing until you understand the reason why he does need it. He might need to find himself while distancing from you. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to be with you anymore. Relationships can be quite overwhelming even if you’re having the best time with them. That’s why he is going to keep you on the back burner until he is ready to commit or find himself again. In the meantime, you should try to keep in contact unless he is not preventing you from living your life. You can do it. Keep your head up. Best, Callisto Adams
