The moment you find yourself making excuses for his behavior, that’s the moment that you know you should start to move on. It is understandable to be busy and have life in motion but if he is a bad texter, he shouldn’t be a bad communicator. It doesn’t mean that everyone knows how to text or likes to do it. Yet, if he likes you and is really into you then he will find other ways to reach out to you. Before jumping to conclusions I will shortly give you a sneak peek at his texting habits:
A bad texter in a nutshell!
A bad texter’s main trait is unconscious inconsistency. He doesn’t reply for hours or even days but doesn’t do it with bad intentions. Yet, at the same time, he will find other ways to stay in contact with you. In this case, he will give you the needed attention and love that a guy who is interested in you would do. Hence, if he doesn’t make any effort to keep in touch with you or initiate conversations in any way, he is not interested. When he isn’t interested in you, he will not make you a priority. He will contact you whenever is convenient for him. To end your confusion, here are 12 meanings of why a guy takes forever to text back:
1. He is taking you for granted
He might like you but not enough so you can be on his priority list. I know that this situation is quite intriguing and you feel like things are going great. Yet, you have this hollow feeling whenever he takes forever to text back. Indeed, if you have an anxious attachment style then this helps in overthinking the process. But, he might like you enough just to enjoy your presence. If he likes you but takes forever to text back like days or he texts you only during the weekend that’s not a good sign. It means that he is enjoying your presence but the intensity of his feelings for you isn’t that strong. He will initiate conversations with you and then leave you hanging because it doesn’t seem like a big deal for him. He isn’t concerned or worried that it might impact you negatively.
2. He might be trying the best of both worlds
One of the main reasons that a guy takes forever to text back is because he might in another relationship. Now, he might be having a serious relationship or a rebound and he might be looking for some comfort. A guy that does this will always give you mixed signals. When he is with you, you will feel like you’re the only woman in this world. Hence, when it comes to connecting after spending time together, he will not text you for days and come up with an excuse. Especially, nowadays with all these dating apps men and women are keeping their dating options open. He might always keep looking for something new because he thinks that the grass is always greener on the other side.
3. He isn’t ready to connect more with you
It depends on o the person but he might be that one that likes to take things slowly. Maybe from past trauma or because he is new to the dating world, he might take things slowly. Especially, if he feels overwhelmed by this new experience, he will reply after one or two days. Also, if he is an introvert, he just needs time by himself to just recharge. Yet, you can tell the difference in this situation in how he reacts to you afterward. His energy is different from the one that doesn’t reply back just to seem mysterious or isn’t interested in you. He will let you know that he needs some time to recharge and take things slowly. To understand in more depth this guy’s personality, you can use the help of a relationship coach. They will make you a specific plan so you’ll learn to decode his behavior and know whether to text anymore or not.
4. He wants to be chased
Also, men like to be chased, just like women. It’s the power and attention that comes from this process and most people crave it. He might enjoy it because it looks like it gives control over you and over the dating process. This type of distance makes you want him more. You start thinking about him more and you start asking questions. Even if you don’t have strong feelings for him yet, you will be triggered to contact him more. Immediately, you will put him on the pedestal and make him more important in this game if we might call it that. He is pulling your strings and if this is constantly happening, it might lead you to an unhealthy relationship.
5. He is playing mind games
Narcissists like to play mind games just to win control over you. This is a strategy that they use even in the early days of dating, before entering a relationship. He just wants to push and make you value him even more. Now, this isn’t a simple way of controlling your life. He wants to leave you pending and when he comes back, he won’t give you any certain explanation. This guy will only continue to behave as if nothing has happened. He will act like he was constantly there.
6. His feelings for you started to change
If, after a few dates he starts to pull away, his feelings might have changed. In the meantime, he might have met someone new or not. Maybe, he just started to lose interest because he noticed that you might not be compatible. Or, you were not on the same page when it comes to dating and your boundaries or priorities. Whatever the reason, he might still like you at some point but he doesn’t seem to have a relationship with you. When this happens, you will wait forever for him to text you back.
7. He doesn’t take texting as a primary form of communication
When a guy doesn’t like texting, he will let you know. Yet, sometimes a guy doesn’t see it as a big deal when it comes to replying slower than you. He might text you first but then it might take forever to reply to you back. Yes, this might mean that he wants to control you at times but this is not always the case. If it takes a day for him to reach out to you then that’s okay. Because he might be busy or just wants to call you or even meet you after a day and that’s fine. Hence, if it takes him a day or more to get back to you then he just isn’t interested to keep in touch with you.
8. He needs your attention to feel special
He texts first but then takes first forever to reply (more than 15 hours to longer than a day) he is looking for your attention. A guy who has low self-esteem will reply slower just so you can always reach out to him first. He enjoys this type of attention because it makes him feel important. You will notice that he will act constantly like this. His replies will be long and he enjoys talking or interacting with you. Hence, he wants to be distant for some time so you can offer him some attention. Men just like women like to create scarcity just so can feel in control and feel valuable.
9. He is a sociable person
Maybe he is a person that goes out a lot and then he does put his phone away during the weekend or during the night. Either way, if he isn’t interested in you and takes forever to text back then he might find a lame excuse. On the other hand, he might have no excuse at all and will start talking to you like nothing happened. He does this just to keep you as a backup plan. Yet, if he is sociable in general then he will look out for different ways to connect with you.
He will look to chat more with you in person; He will let you know that he doesn’t like to use his phone while being with his friends or family;
In the end, if he really likes you then he will try to justify his behavior and not make you feel confused or sad.
10. He wants to seem mysterious to you
Sometimes, a guy does this to seem like he has a lot going on with his life. He just wants to feel important and valued by you and he creates this false life. A guy that has low confidence tends to do this because he doesn’t believe in himself. Now, he might consider you out of his league and creates this distance to attract you more to him. I know that it doesn’t look to you that way but he does it to get to your level. Also, he might not know how to react to your messages and it might take him hours to reply.
11. He doesn’t have high emotional intelligence
When he is emotionally insecure then he goes through a rollercoaster of emotions. He isn’t able to control how he is feeling and needs some distance to just work on his feelings. Also, he is insensitive. He won’t feel things the same way as you. His behavior might be inappropriate and he might say unnecessary things when it’s not the right time. After that, he won’t choose to confront you but he will disappear for days. This isn’t relevant for all men out there but you might notice that your date/partner has a low EI after checking other signs too.
12. He is not interested in the last interaction to create a new one
Maybe your conversation has started to get dry for various reasons. You might have used short answers or started to take longer hours to reply. Not only do women notice these things, but also men are very careful with these details. If he has felt some type of negative energy from you or you were starting to pull away, he will do the same. If it takes two days for him to text back and his texting pattern is different, then he is hurt in a way. Now, he will deliver to you the same energy and might not be interested in you as before.
How long is too long for a guy to text back?
Defining the timeline of how long should it take for a guy to text you back depends on them and on your relationship. Usually, when a guy is interested in you, even if it takes a while for him to text you back, he will do it during the day. If he doesn’t take you more than a day and a half and doesn’t contact you in any form then he just isn’t that into you. Even if he likes you and is trying to play games, slowly he won’t achieve his goal because you will start to lose interest. It’s very frustrating to wait for just a simple reply from a guy and get it after a day or two. ~Remember that is very important to understand his busy schedule. Yet, if he doesn’t state that and doesn’t try to balance communicating with you and his life, he might not be interested in you. When a guy wants just to pass time with you, he will state that he’s busy but he won’t do anything to change it. I am not implying that he needs to change his schedule or himself. Hence, if he is interested to communicate with you, he will even spare five minutes to call or meet you. So, if he takes more than a few hours to text back and not interact with you in any form, he isn’t into you. In this case, even 5 hours is too long to wait for a reply.
Do slow replies mean he doesn’t like me?
Not always. Slow replies might indicate his lack of attraction but not all the time. It depends on how he reacts to you when you talk with one another. If it takes forever for this guy to text you back and his replies are short then he doesn’t like you. If he is a slow replier but makes effort to stay in contact with you no matter what then he likes you. He just doesn’t have enough time to reply or just doesn’t like texting at all. To define whether he likes you or not look at his actions and the way he interacts with you. If you are just texting and it takes a longer time to answer and he doesn’t initiate texts then he doesn’t like you.
Why do guys delay texting back?
In general, a guy delays texting back to fulfill himself and keep you on the back burner. Even if he states multiple times that he likes you but takes forever to reach out to you, you’re not his priority. Indeed, it is true that a man cannot know or doesn’t like how to text. Yet, if he takes forever to text back and gives you mixed signals, he is going through confusion too. Either he can’t work on his feelings and emotions or he just doesn’t have strong feelings for you. Whatever the reason, try to reflect on his behavior in general. Check how he acts with you or if he tries to spend time with you other than just texting. This will give you the proper answer. Sincerely, Callisto Adams
