You have your phone with you wherever you go, and you never leave your house without it. You can certainly know when a text comes through. People can disregard a text if it is from someone they don’t like by not responding or taking too long to do so. Finding out whether someone doesn’t like you over text can be challenging since you’re not seeing their facial expressions or their body language. Tackling this together, here are 19 telltale signs someone doesn’t like you over text:

1. They are slow to reply to your texts

You text them but they take too much time to respond. It’s a common sign that someone doesn’t like you much over text. You’ve got to pay attention if they are apologizing for not responding sooner, giving you believable excuses, and whether this is a recurring issue in your conversations. Nonetheless, slow responses are one of the first signs that you can tell that someone doesn’t want to talk to you over text.

2. They aren’t concerned about your well-being: They never ask anything

If you care about someone, you care about their well-being and what is going on with their lives. “How are you?” or “How was your day?” are some of the first questions you ask someone you like. It just shows you care. If they don’t ask about your well-being and aren’t interested in your life, this sign might indicate that someone doesn’t want to talk to you over text. Someone who doesn’t like you over text might choose to ignore the things you share about yourself. This kind of disinterest and fidgeting of ignorance might be a telltale sign that someone doesn’t like you over text.

3. There is no consistency in their texting 

You can tell someone doesn’t want to talk to you through text when they are being inconsistent with their texting. They text very infrequently and those texts are either asking something from you or are answers to your initiative to make a conversation. When answering, they take their time and won’t consider whether that’s an appropriate time for you too. They are so inconsistent that it will be hard to identify a pattern for their behavior. You don’t have to text every day with someone you like, but this inconsistency and lack of effort just show how someone doesn’t want to talk to you over text.

4. You are always the first to initiate contact

If you are always the one initiating contact and they never take the liberty, perhaps you like them a bit more than they like you. This lack of effort to keep in contact can classify as someone not wanting to talk to you over text. If they really liked you, they would take the initiative sometimes. When someone doesn’t like you, you’re at the bottom of their priority list, and contacting you might never cross their mind. When you are continuously the one to initiate contact first, it might just mean that someone doesn’t want to talk to you over text.

5. They text only when they need something from you

Do you get texts from them only when they need something from you? If this behavior is recurring often and your texts are mainly ‘help me’ texts, it might mean that they are not interested in talking to you. Their interest seems to only spark when they need help from you. Your conversations seem to revolve around their interests and that has gone unnoticed by you, until now. By identifying this, you can tell that they are using you for their convenience.

6. They disregard the initial conversation and start with a new one

A telltale sign that someone doesn’t like you over text is when they dismiss the initial conversation, without answering your question, and starting a new one. The conversations are changed abruptly without letting you know why. Perhaps they don’t want to discuss a personal matter, but isn’t that what lovers and friends are for, to lend a listening ear? They just ignore the question and the conversation and leave you on read, without any proper explanation. This is how you might know that someone doesn’t like you over text, refusing to share stories or give reasons why their behavior suddenly changed.

7. They leave you hanging

Another way of telling if someone doesn’t like you over text is by looking at the way that they respond and how often they leave you waiting for a response. There is nothing worse than disappearing on the other person mid-conversation without letting them know. Another way to know if someone doesn’t want to talk to you is their flaky behavior. They leave without a word letting you wonder whether you did something wrong until their return. This just tells how someone isn’t interested in the text conversation(s) with you.

8. They have left you on read many times

They saw the text, opened it, but didn’t reply. When they reply a couple of days later, they don’t respond to the previous text but just start a whole other conversation. Being left on read/seen might be an unfortunate sign that someone doesn’t want to talk to you over text. Another variation that can happen is, your text and they read it but they are now offline without any explanation. This also goes to show how you can tell that someone doesn’t want to like you over text.

9. You sense flakiness in their behavior

Showing flakiness is how you know someone doesn’t want to talk to you over text. They only seem to care about their time and their feelings, without taking into consideration that you might not be available every time they want to talk. It’s disrespectful, that’s what it is. This kind of behavior is inexcusable and a sign that someone doesn’t like you over text. Furthermore, they might tell you that they will text you back in a couple of hours but days go by without a text from them. They are good at making promises but not at all keeping them.

10. They never double-text you

The famous double-texting is a good way to know if someone does or doesn’t like you through text. Receiving or not receiving them is how you make your distinguishment. If you never receive double texting, even after you have left them waiting for a couple of hours or 2-3 days, perhaps they are not as into you as you thought. If they did like you and you didn’t text back, they would have sent a follow-up text as a gentle reminder that they’re waiting for your answer. If you are not reminded of something you might have forgotten to answer, this might be a sign that they might not like you much over text.

11. You keep having dry conversations and short replies from them

This kind of texting leads you nowhere. Dry texting is another sign that points to how someone doesn’t want to talk to you over text. They answer with short responses that don’t leave room for further elaboration on the topic. The “Sure”, “Ok”, “Cool”, and “Yeah” make your conversations end fast no matter how much you try to keep them alive. Unfortunately, this kind of dry texting can be an indicator that someone doesn’t like you over text.

12. You know they are ignoring your texts

It is easier to avoid someone in the digital world than in the real one. If you keep texting someone, you haven’t gotten a reply in days, but they are active on social media, then they just don’t want to answer your text. An important sign that someone doesn’t want to talk to you over text is if they ignore your texts while being active on social media. Because of their social media activity, you can tell their level of interest in you or whether they like you or not.

13. They make excuses when you invite them to hang out 

If someone is avoiding you meeting up face to face, there might be some more digging you need to do around them. While texting you invite them to hang out or make plans to meet up when they’re free but they make excuses every time. Unfortunately, this might indicate that someone doesn’t like over-text. They might cancel at the last minute because something supposedly came up every time you planned to meet, or they just don’t show up at all.

14. They never invite you to hangout/gatherings/parties

You have to pay attention to this sign as it can be identified in face-to-face encounters and texting as well. If they keep talking over and over about this party that they are going to attend, and how amazing it will be, and they don’t invite you, shows that they aren’t much into you. Texting is easy and they could have just sent a quick text to invite you, but this might be an indicator that someone doesn’t like you much.

15. They are not emotionally open with you

If someone avoids opening up with you, being vulnerable, and sharing about their background through texting, it could indicate that they don’t want to talk to you over text. When the subject gets a bit personal, they tend to avoid answering the question and redirect it to you. If you ask a direct question and they answer with “there is not much to tell”, this is how you know that unfortunately, someone doesn’t like you over text.

16. Lack of curiosity: they never ask questions about you

Questions are asked to get to know the other person better and to keep the conversation alive if you like someone. You can tell by the lack of effort into making a question that someone doesn’t want to talk to you over text. This lack of curiosity shown by someone just goes to tell how they feel overall about you and this potential relationship you are trying to create. If you are always the one making questions but the interest in the answers and conversation doesn’t seem to be reciprocated, that might be a telltale sign that someone doesn’t like you over text.

17. They don’t share memes – Who does that?!

Memes have become an inseparable part of texting. We don’t send memes to people we don’t feel close to or like. Memes can be somewhat of an indicator of how you know if someone doesn’t like you over text. If you don’t share many memes with them but you do with other friends, perhaps you are not as close as you thought. If you’re the one sharing memes with them but they don’t share memes back and don’t engage, then it might be a telltale sign that someone doesn’t like you over text.

18. They give you emoji answers

Visualizing our emotions through emoticons has been widely popularized in the dating scene nowadays. Not a lot of people avoid emojis while texting. The extensive use of emojis has been interpreted as a visualization of feelings for the people you care about and are interested in. Sometimes a lack of emojis in texts has also been interpreted as lacking interest. But, emojis are also being used as a form of dry texting and seem to be like a pity reply, and a way to avoid being rude. If you are having a conversation, and someone replies through emojis only then that might be a sign that someone doesn’t want to talk to you over text. By responding in such a manner, they are just dismissing what you’re saying for the sake of being polite.

19. Your intuition says something’s off

Sometimes, your intuition picks up on signs before they resurface to you. You will start sensing that something is wrong. You find yourself putting in the effort, receiving short replies, not knowing where the conversation is headed, and anxiously waiting for a response. Your gut feeling will eventually alert you that something isn’t quite right. It’s about the small clues through text. You sense that they don’t like you.

What should I do when I notice someone doesn’t like me over text?

Not everyone gets what they want in life. Sometimes, you need to take another path to achieve it. What worries you now is how to disconnect from someone that showed that they didn’t like you over text. – Stop texting and take a break from making any contact. Take this time to figure out your feelings and how much their presence has impacted your life. This way, you can evaluate their importance in your life and control the damage that has been done to your heart.  – Accept it and do your best to move on. You shouldn’t hang onto the what-ifs and think that if you give them a break they’ll come to the sudden realization that they like you. It doesn’t work that way and it isn’t necessarily healthy for you to think so. Put yourself first and don’t fall into the trap of self-deprecation. – Don’t force them into anything they don’t want to do. Avoid just feeding into toxic tendencies and putting into question your happiness and theirs. Take things calmly and look ahead toward what the future brings. – Focus on yourself and don’t let yourself feel down. Go out and have fun with friends, and enjoy new activities solely for your soul’s enjoyment. Do things that make you happy. Focus on your self-growth. If you feel good about yourself, good things are likely to follow. – Don’t question your morals, reality, and values. They are what define you and the expectations to be met. They need to be respected and accepted as they are. You shouldn’t let one undesirable result redefine yourself in your eyes. Keep strong and hold your head high. – Let them know what you have made out of their behavior and the decision you made. It’s better to tell them directly that you think they aren’t interested in talking to you than jump to conclusions without them confirming. Assumptions are made to be proven not to be taken as a source of decision-making. -Move on and take another journey. This might be just setting you up for something greater that is waiting for you. It is okay to feel hurt, but just don’t let it overshadow your happiness and life. Take your time to process this but also don’t forget to move on.

Bottom line: How do I know someone doesn’t like me over text?

You know someone doesn’t like you over text by the display of behavior they show whenever you initiate a conversation:

You sense they’re giving you pity replies by answering with one-word answers. You’re sensing that you’re being ignored and that you’re not valued for what you’re worth. It feels like they’re replying for the heck of it. They take too long to respond and they leave in the middle of a conversation without a warning.

Yes, finding out hurts and it hurts a bit of your self-esteem but don’t let it discourage you. Perhaps a greater love is waiting for you ahead. Love, Callisto

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