So you’ve been dating someone for a few months, and your instincts tell you something isn’t quite right. Namely, their behavior on social media is giving you cause for concern. You don’t want to come across as the type of person who makes a mountain out of a molehill, but you also don’t want to waste time in a relationship that deep down you knew from the get-go wouldn’t work out. So what do you do? Do you put your detective cap on and start snooping, or do you stand back and see how things play out? Well, first you can do some research and look into the social media red flags in relationships you can’t ignore. Keep reading to find out what they are.
13 Red Flags On Social Media
Some things are simply unacceptable regarding social media and your relationship. These include relationship status saying single, always leaving flirty comments, and always messaging the opposite sex. Keep reading for thirteen red flags on social media.
#1 Relationship Status Says Single
If you’ve defined your relationship with your partner and you’re clear about where you stand, there’s no excuse for them leaving their status as ‘single’ on their social media profiles. You can let this slide if your partner isn’t active on social media. However, this is a red flag if they’re constantly posting pictures and letting friends and family know what’s happening in their lives. One of the main reasons is that it leaves room for flirting with the opposite sex. When an admirer sees their ‘single’ status, it’s a green light to approach.
#2 Always Leaving Flirty Comments
I am in no way suggesting that we become blind to the attractiveness of the opposite sex when we’re in a relationship. However, there are boundaries you shouldn’t cross, and leaving flirty messages is one of them. Not only is this disrespectful to you, but it’s also embarrassing. Think about it like this; you can compare leaving flirty comments to openly flirting with someone else at a family gathering. All your friends and family are present, but your partner is maneuvering around the party as if they’re single. Whispering sweet nothings into the ears of the people they find attractive, dancing with them, and complimenting them. What are your friends and family members going to think? Well, the same is true when it comes to social media. Everyone can see those comments. So if your partner wouldn’t act that way in public, why do it on social media?
#3 Always Messaging The Opposite Sex
Sliding into people’s DMs is taking flirty comments to the next level. Basically, your partner may as well be on an online dating website. They are scrolling through, looking for pictures they like, and then sending messages to them. What is the purpose of this? You’ve got every right to suspect that your partner is attempting to hook up with them.
#4 Your Friends Are Noticing Your Partners’ Behavior
Since you’ve defined your relationship and introduced your partner to your friends and family, they all know that you two are an item. However, they’ve noticed that they tend to like and comment on sexually explicit posts, and they’ve bought it to your attention. How embarrassing is that?
#5 They Won’t Follow You
Social media has several unspoken rules, one of which is that regardless of the platform, you follow your partner. It’s a space where couples get to share their relationship highs with friends and family. Even though you’ve got other means of communicating, it’s also a place to show public support for your partner’s wins in life. However, when the person you’re dating refuses to follow you on social media, you need to question why. Are they trying to hide you, or do they not want you keeping tabs on them on social media?
#6 There Are No Pictures Of You
If he doesn’t post pictures of you, that is just as bad as not following you. If your partner follows you on social media but has no pictures of you together or you on your own, there’s something wrong. This red flag leads to insecurities, such as you wondering whether your partner is ashamed of how you look or that they’re seeing other people and don’t want it to seem like they’re in a relationship.
#7 They Post Provocative Pictures
Unless you’re dating a model and posting provocative pictures is a part of their job, there is absolutely no need for your partner to be posting pictures of themselves in their underwear. People who do this are exhibitionists fishing for compliments, they want to be admired by the opposite sex, which is not a good thing. If you guys are in a serious relationship, the only person they should want admiration from is you.
#8 They Won’t Follow Your Friends and Family
Refusing to follow your friends and family on social media is a red flag because it’s a sign that they don’t want anyone you know in their business. This is especially true if they’ve got a private account. You don’t have much to worry about if the account is public because everyone has access to it anyway. Nevertheless, what is your partner hiding that they don’t want to follow your friends and family? They’ve seen the notifications and ignored them. What is their reason for this?
#9 They Follow Jerks
Your partner following men and women with opinions about the opposite sex that offends is a red flag because it indicates that they agree with these people. For example, some very sexist relationship coaches believe women should be chained to the kitchen sink serving men. Suppose your partner follows such people and likes and comments on their posts. In that case, you can expect problems later in your relationship because these opinions will manifest through their behavior.
#10 They Follow Explicit Accounts
Everyone has the right to follow whatever accounts they want to. However, when you’re in a relationship, you’re representing the person you’re dating, and following explicit accounts don’t represent them well. It shows that your partner has zero self-control and a desire to lust over people that don’t look like you.
#11 Their Ex Seems More Important Than You
Your partner has no pictures of you on their page, their relationship status is still on single, and they never like any of your posts. However, although you are well aware that your partner and their ex are still close, it seems as if they are more important than you on social media. Not only does your partner like and comment on all their posts, but their pictures are also still on their page, and they post new pictures with captions like #whenyourbestieswithyourex! This is not a good look and should not be tolerated in a relationship. The fact that they’re friends isn’t the problem, but your partner treating their ex better than they treat you in public is. The plain fact of the matter is that you’re occupying the same space, so you should be their first priority. If you, your partner, and their ex were at a social gathering, would they be all over their ex while you stood on the sidelines watching? I think not!
#12 Your Partner Is Always On Social Media
Your partner is never present and misses all the precious moments you could have together because they’re always on social media. Whether you’re having dinner or watching a movie together, your partner can’t seem to stop scrolling. Most of the time, you feel invisible because social media appears to be the most important thing in your partner’s life.
#13 Your Partner Monitors Your Every Move
The opposite end of the spectrum regarding red flags on social media is having an overly possessive and jealous partner who monitors your every move. They constantly watch what you do on social media, and it’s a problem if you do anything they don’t like. They will fly off the handle over the most minor things, such as you being online after you’ve said goodnight to them. As far as they’re concerned, that’s a sign you’re cheating because if you said goodnight, that means you’re going to bed, so why are you still awake scrolling?
Moving Forward
Now that you’ve realized some of your partner’s behaviors are red flags, it’s time to do something about it. Some ideas include speaking to your partner, ending the relationship, and blocking your ex. Here are some tips on how to move forward.
#1 Speak To Your Partner
It may be a no-brainer to you and your friends and family members that your partner’s behaviors are red flags; however, it might not be to them. Suppose they’ve never been in a serious relationship before, or the person they were with previously didn’t think their behavior was a problem. In that case, they could be acting in ignorance and have no idea that their actions are offending. Therefore, speak to your partner about what you’ve noticed and see if you can compromise. If not, you’ll need to move onto the next step.
#2 End The Relationship
If your partner doesn’t believe there’s anything wrong with their behavior and refuses to change, it’s time to end the relationship. You will never be happy with someone who doesn’t value your opinion and doesn’t care about how their behavior makes you feel. You must take this step immediately. If not, you’ll end up trapped in an abusive relationship that makes you depressed and miserable.
#3 Block Your Ex
Once you’ve ended the relationship, block your ex on all platforms. Your partner will find it difficult to accept that you’ve ended the relationship and will attempt to convince you to stay. They may even change their behavior temporarily by posting pictures of you on social media and changing their status to ‘in a relationship.’ But it won’t last, it won’t be long before they’re back to their old ways, and you’re left looking like a fool again. To avoid this, make sure your ex has no way of contacting you by blocking them on all platforms.
#4 Treat Yourself
There’s nothing better than pampering yourself after a break-up. Whether it’s a shopping spree, having a spa day, or going on vacation, those feel-good hormones will elevate your mood and make you feel on top of the world. It’s also important to grieve over the break-up, don’t bury your feelings, or they’ll resurface later on. But just make sure you treat yourself afterward.
#5 Start Dating Again
According to experts, people should spend at least two months single before they start dating again. Remaining single will give you time to process your emotions and clearly understand what went wrong in the previous relationship so you don’t repeat the same mistakes. Red flags are there for a reason. They give you insight into the relationship’s direction further down the road. People who ignore red flags end up regretting it in the end. Looking back, they realize all the signs were there from the beginning. Before you start dating again, you will need to make sure you’re free from the emotional baggage of your last relationship, but you’ll also need to look out for any red flags and run a mile when you notice them.
Final Thought
As mentioned, red flags are there for a reason, so don’t ignore them. Now that you’ve read these ten social media red flags in relationships, it’s time to take action. First, discuss it with your partner, but promise to change if they don’t agree with you. But their behavior doesn’t change. Then, it’s time to put an end to the relationship. Remember, life is too short to give third, fourth, and fifth chances. Some too many people have wasted years in an unloving relationship and then end up alone because they’re too cynical to date again. Ending a relationship will always be difficult, but the end is always a new beginning, and letting go of the old is the only way you’ll ever find your soul mate.
