Trying to decode why your ex is acting and sounding miserable will be hard and impact you a lot. If your ex is miserable but not interacting with you then spotting these signs isn’t easy. You will get a lot of mixed signals and you’ll be confused most of the time. The best thing that you can you is to reflect from afar. Even if you initiated the breakup or not interacting with your ex in these moments might make the situation worse. 13 signs your ex is miserable and here is what experts say:
1. They try to rub their new partner in your face
One of the main signs that your ex is miserable without you, is when they try to make you jealous. Their actions are designed to trigger you and get your attention again. Your ex will show their misery in many forms. Starting from posting their new significant other multiple times. In this case, your ex doesn’t block you or shut their social media down. They want to flaunt their new relationship every time that they can. Despite this, your ex will find the opportunity to bump into you with their new partner. If this happens constantly, even after months of breaking up, then your ex has still feelings for you.
2. Tries to convince you that they’re the happiest person on this planet
When an ex is miserable, they will try to convince you that they are happier than you. People who have low self-esteem and are usually hurt by the breakup or regret their decisions do it. They will try to convince you that they are doing better on their own than when they were in the relationship. An ex will choose different methods or tools to show their misery.
They will go out partying a lot and hanging out with a lot of people;
They share all their “happy” moments on their social media like they never did before;
They try to show how valuable their new significant other is to them;
They are doing this out of their misery but also they want to boost their ego and make themselves feel better.
3. They isolate themselves
After the breakup, mostly, the dumpee has their confidence crushed. This is one of the main reasons that an ex is miserable and for them, it feels like they’re part of a black hole. During the first stage of the breakup, an ex will feel unlovable and feel like no one is understanding them. Due to this, they will isolate themselves from everyone and everything. In this case, your ex will block you on every platform and will try not to have any type of contact with you. In the meantime, your ex might be working on their healing. This period will be filled with a lot of ups and downs for your ex that’s why they shut themselves down.
They will hang out less with their friends; They will distance themselves from their family members too;
4. They start to act weirdly
Your ex’s behavior is a very important sign when it comes to them being miserable after the breakup. They start to act like nothing before. This doesn’t mean that they act weirdly toward you but also It means that they’re zoning out and they try to invent a new personality. Just remember, that this personality isn’t a nourished version of them. This is a personality that they have created just to boost their ego or they are trying to heal from the trauma. Sometimes, when the relationship was toxic, an ex will try to detach themselves from this situation. When they try to do it, they change the pattern and do things like they did not do before.
They will start developing unhealthy habits. They will try to talk or even dress differently.
5. They change their values
They tend to change their values so they just can fit into the mold of this new relationship. This is something that you can spot quite easily. Your ex will start to date different types of people that are way different from them. There is nothing wrong with doing it, yet, they will be trying to challenge themselves in many forms. They do this only to find some piece of happiness or pleasure after the breakup. Even if your ex is in a new relationship right now, they might try activities and hobbies that they said they would never try. This is not always a sign of misery but it becomes one if they do it to try to seem more interesting to you.
6. They try to interfere in your personal life
An ex can be curious about your life and take different actions to prevent your happiness when they’re miserable. If an ex is unhappy with their current life then they will try to make you go through the same experience. Especially, if your ex was a narcissist, they will try to ruin your new life and make you feel guilty about it. If you decide to restart and create a new life on your own, they will try to communicate with you all the time. They will try to control your activities and appear in your life as much as they can. On the other hand, if you enter a new relationship, they will try to trash-talk your new partner.
7. They do everything to put themselves out there
When an is unhappy in the new relationship, they will try to go from one fling to another. They will try to go out as much as possible and they go on many dating sites. It means that right now, your ex needs something to hold on to. They need a distraction to make them forget about the breakup and store their emotions. You know that your ex is terrible when you find them partying everywhere. Usually, this happens when an ex has a huge void in their life and can’t seem to move on. This situation is very confusing and might impact you negatively.
8. Their work performance is low
Being hurt in a relationship can have a huge impact on your life in general. If an ex is miserable then they will lose their focus and will be in motion, especially through the first days. Being rejected and in denial after the breakup, affects life negatively. It is hard for them to wake up and keep in motion without thinking of it. That’s why all this negativity and intrusive thoughts will impact even their life to some extent.
9. They refuse to date for a long time
One of the main signs that your ex is miserable is to refuse to move on and heal and date someone new. It’s nothing wrong if they decide to stay single for some time and nourish. Hence, if they decide to stay single and be stuck in the past then they are refusing to move on. This might be a problem for them because reminiscing and ruminating will impact them negatively. They might even have high and delusional expectations, and this is what will make them miserable.
10. They keep throwing shade at you
When an ex is miserable without you, they will be working to create a negative version of yourself. They might be sharing your secrets and even talk bad about you to your or their friends. Also, your ex might create this version of you so they can hate you and move on. Usually, when an ex is unable to move on, they will try to hang on to something. In this situation, they might also enter a new relationship and throw shade at you. They will try to downgrade you even by comparing you to their new partner.
11. They are still being toxic with you
Getting out of toxic relationships is hard but once you get out, it’s hard to maintain it. A controlling ex will try to have access to your life even after the breakup. Now, they will try to get to you even if they find other people to talk about them or just stalk you. They are just miserable and instead of begging and pleading, they try to play mind games. Their plans are created just to make you feel bad about pulling away or not even being with them. Even if they initiated the breakup, they will make you think that you’re the problem. That they have done it just because you were the reason, even if you weren’t the one.
12. They refuse to get your stuff back
An ex is going through a hard time if they are not returning your belongings. Their refusal is linked with their misery. If an ex is miserable then they will refuse to return your things. They need your attention and affection or they want to use it as a form of revenge. Keeping your things in their place will give them the power of having you under their control. You can tell that they are sad, angry, and maybe disappointed from the breakup when they do it. In this situation, your ex creates the type of communication that will be only suitable to them.
13. They constantly ask for your emotional support
When an ex craves your emotional support, they’re dealing with their own emotions a lot. They are still processing the breakup and need time to get used to your absence. If they are persistent and constantly ask for you to support them emotionally then they’re having a hard time. Especially, when an ex is sensitive and has an anxious attachment style. In this case, they are constantly craving your presence and your validation.
Why is my ex telling me his life is miserable?
An ex will tell you that he is miserable if they want to be back with you and if they want to control you. I know that this statement might make your mind blow and make you confused. Yet, there is no in-between. If your ex was a narcissist then he tells you that his life is miserable because they want to make you feel guilty. Here comes the guilt trap. They just want you to get back to them and still have control over your life. On the other hand, when an ex really feels guilty and tells you they’re miserable, they have already a plan. They won’t play mind games and make you feel guilty because they’re miserable. In this situation, they accept their mistakes and start to reflect. They just need you to know it even if you aren’t ready to give them a second chance.
What to do if my ex is miserable?
If your ex is miserable the one thing that you can do is stay neutral. Even if you initiated the breakup, you just need to give them and yourself some time to reflect. I know that this will be a terrible and hard time for your ex too but sometimes trying to fix the situation will make it worse. Give them the chance to process their feelings because just being back with them won’t fade away their misery. You or they might duplicate or repeat your mistakes and the relationship will fail once again leaving them even more hurt than before.
Signs your ex is miserable without you
One of the main signs that your ex is miserable without you is when they pull themselves away from the world. Even if they’re the dumper or the dumpee, they try to disconnect from everyone if the breakup made them miserable. All this suffering comes from within. Even if you are angry with them or vice versa, they are now in oblivion and looking for themselves. The post-breakup loneliness and anxiety and their decisions make your ex miserable. Take a step back, and be aware of these signs, if you can help then you might interfere to some extent. Hence, sometimes interacting with your ex when they are miserable will impact both of you negatively. Instead, try to nurture yourself and reflect positively. Sincerely, Callisto Adams
